Is anyone just too scared to do it?

[DreamEnd]

I'm at a point now where nothing matters but ctb. That's all I think about every day but the thought of actively taking sn seems horrifying. Anyone else shares similar thoughts?

 

[Vizzy]

I'm at a point now where nothing matters but ctb. That's all I think about every day but the thought of actively taking sn seems horrifying. Anyone else shares similar thoughts?

Literally everyone!

Death is a scary part of life, even if you live your entire life and die from old age still everyone are scared

 

[Little_Suzy]

I'm not afraid because I regard it as a natural death.

It offers me a lot of peace and comfort to know that I won't be discovered raped, tortured, beaten, mutilated, decapitated, and killed in a ditch. I'm terrified of being a victim of a crime against women.

It gives me enormous comfort to know how everything will finish for me. My family will also be at ease knowing that I did not die in a horrifying way.

I wish you the same peace of mind and contentment.

 

[unnormal9]

No, I just don't have it anymore.

 

[GullibleScallop]

I'm at a point now where nothing matters but ctb. That's all I think about every day but the thought of actively taking sn seems horrifying. Anyone else shares similar thoughts?

I'm too attached to my worldly consciousness to go through with it. I'm not at peace with the possibility that there simply is no afterlife and my mind will cease to exist, ya know?

 

[Why Me?]

Last week, I was super ready, now fear is starting to creep in again, I need to defeat it once and for all. Fear is my enemy, but there is clearly no alternative for me but continual torture from existence, there is no other way out. Hope has betrayed me for decades, and the more I live, the more prone I am to being treated horribly by others.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's understandable having fears as after all as humans we are all programmed to survive even if we are fully aware of the fact that suicide is the most logical option to free ourselves from suffering.

What I would fear is somehow a suicide attempt going wrong and just leading to more pain and torment, the thought of suicide failing is certainly terrifying. I do think that those who have a reliable method like SN are fortunate though especially as it seems to becoming more and more difficult to obtain, but I just hate how there isn't an option to just pass away in our sleep without risks and complications, I personally find so much comfort in the thought of being gone but it's such a cruel punishment how suicide is purposely made so difficult in this hellish world.

 

[woh6]

Honestly it depends on the method and circumstances. I wouldn't be able to make myself lay on train tracks, but if I had something like N I would. Maybe it's helpful to look into what exactly you find scary? Are you afraid of the unpleasant moments between drinking it and passing out? Are you afraid to hurt yourself because of SI kicking in? Perhaps you have doubts?

 

[Gavalar]

A little scared.

But I've tried 3 times this week (Once partial, twice CO method) and obviously failed all three.

I'm desperate for an out.

 

[MentalStefan]

I am very scared and I think this is the main reason why I am still alive... I aborted 2 or 3 suicide attempts because of extreme fear :( I did lots of bad choices and mistakes in my life and I am very scared that CTB will be one of them... I am a coward and a pussy, I know.

 

[offbalance]

I'm at a point now where nothing matters but ctb. That's all I think about every day but the thought of actively taking sn seems horrifying. Anyone else shares similar thoughts?

I'm not sure if fear ever subsides 100% but when the time is right it's not as big a deal anymore. The thought of the peacefulness of death overrides the fear
Doesn't mean I don't anticipate the moments before death will have anxiety though…

 

[soontobedone]

I plan on using SN and fear the time to wait after ingestion. I fear heart palpitations and possibly feeling like I'm suffocating. A while ago, I had a close friend willing to suffocate me but I couldn't help but fight hard against it, the terror was unexpected. It became too traumatizing to finish.

 

[GrizzlyGrapefruit]

Yes. To keep things brief, I was completely fine with life until I was struck with chronic illness, so one of the biggest things holding me back from following through is the fear that maybe if I just hold on a bit longer things will become bearable again.

If some magical being could tell me with absolute certainty which way things would go, I would more than likely be dead by the end of the week if I was told that things wouldn't change for the better at all and/or would get worse.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm mostly afraid of failing. That would majorly suck. And I suppose of the dying experience as well. But pain is a lot easier to bear I think when you know it has a definite end.

 

[prtsn]

yes. i have everything i need to do it but something is keeping me here. its not people nor hobbies, just SI i guess.

 

[jorheslen428]

Not really, if anything I feel nervous excitement at the thought. I don't think death is something to be afraid of, just a natural part of life.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

yes me

 

[DouceLune]

I'm not as much afraid for the moment I attempt, I'm more afraid that if I happen to fail and the consequences of failing.

 

[henry22]

Yes, I'm scared of the pain. I think that may be the only thing stopping me.

 

[SleepingLessons]

Last week, I was super ready, now fear is starting to creep in again

I'm in the same position - had absolutely no fear, was 100% sure it was the right thing to do, was ready. Now... not so sure. It feels so vulnerable and scary going from being so ready to fearful again. The uncertainty sucks so bad. I'm sorry you're experiencing a similar thing!

 

[leavingsoon99]

I know it can be scary. A part of me is afraid at the thought of what's next. Also, just at the thought of pulling the trigger. But I'm also afraid of NOT doing it. My health is failing. My life is failed. I'm getting older with no one in my life. I HAVE TO do it. It's still a little scary, though. I'll admit that.

 

[silent star]

I don't think I'm scared of doing it necessarily more of well I guess been forgotten I don't know why I am so scared of it but I am I want someone to know that I exist at some point. everyone who knows me in real life will eventually die and I'll be forgot that scares me but at the same time I don't want them to remember me, anyone but them it's confusing

 

[hag]

I'm at a point now where nothing matters but ctb. That's all I think about every day but the thought of actively taking sn seems horrifying. Anyone else shares similar thoughts?

I've made several attempts, and didn't hesitate with any of them. I planned them, and then carried them out. I wasn't at all scared. I don't expect to be scared with my final ctb.

 

[LeatherRectangle]

I am scared of what happens after I die. I am ok with the idea of ceasing to exist, but the idea of a hell definitely terrifies me. Like I end my life because the pain is too great, and I just end up in a place with greater pain. I believe that this wouldn't happen but can't be absolutely sure.

 

[sheleftme1]

petrified

 

[glitterypearls]

I'm not scared of the act. scared of what comes afterward. do we just disappear in the void like we never even existed? or is there an afterlife? that the scary part for me

 

[Never Alive]

It's weird because I was very scared after just taking bits of sn by accident.. And at that moment, I thought about a person I just met a short time ago. We understand each other a lot. She's in a lot of pain as I am, maybe more than me. I probably dont know some of her dark places and thoughts she is in. But I know, at that time I took a bit of sn, I wanted to learn more about her and spend more time with her. It's weird and sometimes, time gives opportunities is what I learned. Because I set my death date to today, the 15.05, now it's delayed. By how much? Fate, decides ig. Could be this week, month or not this year. It feels very weird. Without her I would most likely just vannish and not push through. Maybe it's lucky. Maybe not; but I'm up for the adventure that might come. Because I have never felt so understood, safe and free being myself around a person. I care about her. I wanna spend more time with her but I can respect and understand her will to ctb. Wish me (us) luck

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

This is the worst. You don't want to live but you can't die either. I know that feel.

 

[nanfranci]

i don't have any fear, i haven't in years. the only reason i'm here is because of the people keeping me here. i used to have in incredible fear of death as an early teen which was very obsessive at one point. i would have severe panic attacks from just knowing the fact that i was getting older and knowing it would lead to me someday dying. (and when i was only 15 lol)

anyways, when i my life started deteriorating and i lost that fear of death that i had i knew it was over for me. i have fundamentally lost my will and desire to live, and with it my fear of death is also gone. it makes me feel kind of bad because i know i've truly given up on myself and it feels like i am at the complete point of no return.

 

[Twoped538]

I'm too attached to my worldly consciousness to go through with it. I'm not at peace with the possibility that there simply is no afterlife and my mind will cease to exist, ya know?

Consider this: every night your consciousness will temporarily cease to exist. Furthermore, your consciousness also did not exist before you were borne.
So what is it, you are afraid of?