• Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

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K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
It feels surreal, especially after a period when I had hope and now it's all gone.
Sometimes I wake up and think "No, please, I don't want it to be reality, it shouldn't have happen to me"
 
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Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
worst MMORPG ever


no this is real. it just really, really sucks.
 
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ThisIsTheEnd

ThisIsTheEnd

Waste of oxygen
Aug 22, 2018
90
I'd just like to know what the damn point of it all is? Just to placate my parent's wishes to raise a child? The world and humanity are so fucked up, its ridiculous.
 
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P

pleasethistime

Experienced
Jun 25, 2018
256
Is it possible that existence is our exile and nothingness is our home?
Emil Cioran
 
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E

Ella Disenchanted

Student
Sep 3, 2018
120
Seeing the things people do to eachother, the random elements to life, etc.

Im in constant disbelief that this can be reality. I want to die so badly. Everything just keeps getting worse and there is nothing i can do about it. No God to help console me, no mercy, no explanation.

Yes the constant horror of realising that this is not in fact a nightmare and I can't wake up drives my need to escape this life. I spend every day saying to myself.. this cannot be. This just cannot be.
 
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EmotionlessWanderer

EmotionlessWanderer

Specialist
Jan 19, 2019
352
worst MMORPG ever


no this is real. it just really, really sucks.
Someone make Sword Art Online or Ready Player One a real thing so I can cope better already.
 
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EvilForProfit

EvilForProfit

empty
Feb 27, 2019
31
Absolutely, from multiple different perspectives. I'm in disbelief how sick humanity can be and also what has happened in my life which I would probably label a freak accident that literally took me from feeling my best ever to by far my worst ever, and I know there is no chance I'll ever recover being realistic. So yes I'm in fucking disbelief constantly every second as life passes me by
 
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EvilForProfit

EvilForProfit

empty
Feb 27, 2019
31
Yeah, life makes no sense. People seem content to just play the societal game that humans have created, and they treat their mass delusions like the bottom line of reality. I guess it's too much for most people to think about, so they just adhere to their programming. In a way, I wish I could do the same, but my brain has never let me for long. I've always wanted to really understand why we're here and what it's all about, and if it matters at all. The only time life really made sense to me was either when: 1) I stopped thinking about it so much, went to college and filled my life with goals and meaning, or 2) when I was driven to enlightenment (I was manic AF) by dissociative drug use. #2 was the best time of my life, until it ended in the loneliness and isolation that I am currently facing years down the spiral. It's hard for me to participate in society, because I don't believe in it. It's all made up, and it pisses me off that it's made-up in such a way that leaves so many people to fall between the cracks to be miserable, empty, and forgotten.

I felt like I was going somewhere with this, but now I feel like I just crawled up my own ass. Such is life.
This... I feel slightly more understood after reading this, which for me is an almost non existent feeling. My mind has never allowed to me to simply go through the motions and adhere to society.. In fact whenever I did my best to avoid church, school and work I was practically enlightened I mean I just remember euphoria and peace honestly, I know I sound crazy but society is just crazy to me, I would love to somehow avoid it. It's not that I don't believe in work or struggle as a part of life, but I was never given a chance to be self sufficient and instead I was raised in this maze and programmed how to be obedient, which I grew out of yet it scarred me along the way. I honestly never had a mental illness, my brain worked great but it was hard to find something I really wanted to use it on. I guess I honestly just never liked being around people too much, the people that I was exposed to anyways so in that sense I was destined for something bad to happen. The looks people gave me when they realized I wasn't interested or reliant on their opinion or what they thought of me whatsoever... Seems like that's more normal than just basing your entire self image off of what people think of you and being a complete social addict, but what do I know I've screwed my life with the help of idiots so don't listen to me...
 
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Pentobartbital

Pentobartbital

Crumbling
Feb 25, 2019
183
One of the most important events in my life was when I'd finished reading The Man in the High Castle. It not only took away some of the existential numbness that pervaded my life at the time, it too introduced me to the idea that physical existence is in part artificial, if not wholly illusory.

Sometimes I wonder if I meditate on something hard enough, like Mr. Tagomi I'll find myself warped off to another world. Or I'll receive some otherworldly revelation that my entire life was little more than simulacra.
 
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Meretlein

Meretlein

Moderator
Feb 15, 2019
1,199
Everything feels like a dream to me, I don't even recognize the body i'm in
 
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L

Lisa

Specialist
May 9, 2018
304
One of the most important events in my life was when I'd finished reading The Man in the High Castle. It not only took away some of the existential numbness that pervaded my life at the time, it too introduced me to the idea that physical existence is in part artificial, if not wholly illusory.

Sometimes I wonder if I meditate on something hard enough, like Mr. Tagomi I'll find myself warped off to another world. Or I'll receive some otherworldly revelation that my entire life was little more than simulacra.
I like this idea very much. I hate my life so much my nightmares have become my reality. Perhaps someday we will all be in a better different reality somehow. For me not here.
 
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L

Lisa

Specialist
May 9, 2018
304
It feels surreal, especially after a period when I had hope and now it's all gone.
Sometimes I wake up and think "No, please, I don't want it to be reality, it shouldn't have happen to me"
This happens to me everyday I wake up into my nightmare. No matter how bad a nightmare in a dream might be, when I actually wake up it's much worse. And it doesn't end. It's like a terrible twilight zone episode
 
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Pentobartbital

Pentobartbital

Crumbling
Feb 25, 2019
183
I like this idea very much. I hate my life so much my nightmares have become my reality. Perhaps someday we will all be in a better different reality somehow. For me not here.

The irony of this statement is that when Mr. Tagomi meditated on a piece of jewelry for so long in the park,
he was taken to our world and decided on killing himself if he couldn't make it back to his home universe.

Either way I warmly regard your sentiments. I think it would be great if people here could somehow reconnect at or after the bus stop...
 
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L

Lisa

Specialist
May 9, 2018
304
The irony of this statement is that when Mr. Tagomi meditated on a piece of jewelry for so long in the park,
he was taken to our world and decided on killing himself if he couldn't make it back to his home universe.

Either way I warmly regard your sentiments. I think it would be great if people here could somehow reconnect at or after the bus stop...
It would be nice

Do you have a timeline for yourself or are you up in the air

I have a roundabout timeline of 1 year (waiting on things I need to get done and that's about how long I need)
 
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Pentobartbital

Pentobartbital

Crumbling
Feb 25, 2019
183
It would be nice

Do you have a timeline for yourself or are you up in the air

I have a roundabout timeline of 1 year (waiting on things I need to get done and that's about how long I need)

This may be a better subject for my profile or a private message. I wouldn't want to derail the thread!
 
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Sundayafternoon

Sundayafternoon

Cosmic panic
May 18, 2018
394
Yeah, life makes no sense. People seem content to just play the societal game that humans have created, and they treat their mass delusions like the bottom line of reality. I guess it's too much for most people to think about, so they just adhere to their programming. In a way, I wish I could do the same, but my brain has never let me for long. I've always wanted to really understand why we're here and what it's all about, and if it matters at all. The only time life really made sense to me was either when: 1) I stopped thinking about it so much, went to college and filled my life with goals and meaning, or 2) when I was driven to enlightenment (I was manic AF) by dissociative drug use. #2 was the best time of my life, until it ended in the loneliness and isolation that I am currently facing years down the spiral. It's hard for me to participate in society, because I don't believe in it. It's all made up, and it pisses me off that it's made-up in such a way that leaves so many people to fall between the cracks to be miserable, empty, and forgotten.

I felt like I was going somewhere with this, but now I feel like I just crawled up my own ass. Such is life.

I wanted to reply to several things you said. Bare with me if you can. I'm long winded and scatter brained.

I've taken plenty of meds that were meant to make me "normal" again. But what these doctors fail to realize is my "normal" is their abnormal.

I'm not highly intelligent but I am a thinker. I contemplate. I always have. One of My favorite memories was sitting in the car with an aunt. I'd just learned to tell time. I felt an indescribable feeling as each minute ticked past. And I asked, "Aunt's Name, do you realize each minute that passes we never get back? It's just gone!"
To which she just shrugs and says, "Nah. I never thought about that."

I've taken prescribed medications that will have just as soon contemplate the latest sandals in season than what lives at the very depths of the ocean.

Full circle. Can they (society) not treat their mass delusions as if it's the in all be all? Do we have a choice? Or are some of us just "lucky" enough to see through the veil. Or "unlucky" enough to have the veil shredded with no choice but to look through it.

College life provided you with distractions it sounds like but you still couldn't unknown what you already knew. I could be wrong. Idk. Anything, really.

Just as I wonder how many great artist have never produced and work I wonder how many great scientist and the like never know their "worth" (within the paradigm).

I 100% understand what you mean about interacting with the those of us that are content with their existence. They talk about their "business" and grandkids and latest diets and this blue car they want ans why dawn is better than joy. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "what are you talking to me about? Huh? More distractions you've picked up to help you forgot you're going to die?" None of this shit is real. But it's real and it's torment for some.

I've crawled up my own ass .
 
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Minvino

Minvino

活不好,死不了
Mar 1, 2019
14
There's that conspiracy theory about how the world already ended in 2012 and this is just an illusion because we don't believe we died.

I don't believe in it myself but I can't knock it down.
 
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Pepega

Pepega

Betaman
Mar 2, 2019
101
Most of the time yes, but I try to completely immerse myself into media content, especially video games and i forget about reality, but that fucks with my life even more
 
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Pepega

Pepega

Betaman
Mar 2, 2019
101
If anyone it's interested I can recommend some streamers on twitch that really makes you forget about reality,the community in chat is mostly depressive and makes you not feel alone.
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
If anyone it's interested I can recommend some streamers on twitch that really makes you forget about reality,the community in chat is mostly depressive and makes you not feel alone.
Sure. Give me some recommendations.
 
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Pepega

Pepega

Betaman
Mar 2, 2019
101
Sure. Give me some recommendations.

I mainly watch https://www.twitch.tv/forsen and https://www.twitch.tv/admiralbulldog ,they are not online now but there are still people in chat now where you can discuss anything.Bulldog even said yesterday he wants to stop breathing and just die, as a joke cuz otherwise he would be banned but I really feel him.I suggest you download BBTV extension for your browser or the chat feel soulless.Don't really know if it's your thing but give it a try, it really helps me :)
 
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dysfunctional

dysfunctional

Arcanist
Oct 26, 2018
459
Yes, but maybe for different reasons. The worldis fucked up- but I always had my place in it. Then my brain shattered and I lost all control, all happiness, and most functionality. The realization that this is my new reality hits me sometimes, and my head spins fronit. The change happened over less than one month and really plunged in a couple days.
 
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Ch92921

Ch92921

The call of the void
Dec 29, 2018
909
Its reality! All things which do exists are real. Made of atoms.

Whats is not real like god thats fantasy. Or the soul the soul doent exist.

Also not real time AFTER death. Because there is nothing after death.
 
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J

JWL

Arcanist
Jan 15, 2019
460
Seeing the things people do to eachother, the random elements to life, etc.

Im in constant disbelief that this can be reality. I want to die so badly. Everything just keeps getting worse and there is nothing i can do about it. No God to help console me, no mercy, no explanation.

Is anyone else in complete disbelief that this is real life?


Is this the real life, is this just fantasy...?
 
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Ch92921

Ch92921

The call of the void
Dec 29, 2018
909
No its reality

God= fantasy
Soul= fantasy
free will= not really existent
after life = nothing, eternal peace:halo::zzz::muah:
 
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J

JWL

Arcanist
Jan 15, 2019
460
No its reality

God= fantasy
Soul= fantasy
free will= not really existent
after life = nothing, eternal peace:halo::zzz::muah:


You're a cheerful bugger, aren't you...? :-)
Its reality! All things which do exists are real. Made of atoms.

Whats is not real like god thats fantasy. Or the soul the soul doent exist.

Also not real time AFTER death. Because there is nothing after death.

Its reality! All things which do exists are real. Made of atoms.

Whats is not real like god thats fantasy. Or the soul the soul doent exist.

Also not real time AFTER death. Because there is nothing after death.


You don't know if there's nothing after death, so you can't really state it as fact, like you do.
No its reality

God= fantasy
Soul= fantasy
free will= not really existent
after life = nothing, eternal peace:halo::zzz::muah:


Eternal peace sounds a bit boring. I wanna PARTY!!!
 
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Ch92921

Ch92921

The call of the void
Dec 29, 2018
909
not a fact, but most likely assumption
bugger?
 
Last edited:
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T

Throwaway563078

Experienced
Oct 6, 2018
272
Yes, it's so fucked up and random that I think it can't be real sometimes. Chaos, pain for what? The worst part is there's no explanation. Never felt homey in the first place for me.
 
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GeorgeJL

GeorgeJL

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2019
1,621
Seeing the things people do to eachother, the random elements to life, etc.

Im in constant disbelief that this can be reality. I want to die so badly. Everything just keeps getting worse and there is nothing i can do about it. No God to help console me, no mercy, no explanation.
If you look at the highly respected Steven Pinkers work he's shown that actually violence has gone way down generally speaking even if you include WWII, violence has still gone way down generally speaking. I research a lot of the new technologies coming out so I stay positive. Focusing on the negative too much is a HUGE rabbit hole you don't want to go down. Because there is an infinite amount of evil and an infinite amount of good in this universe. So you choose what you want to focus on. I am not trying to be a white knight here. I am very much pro-choice when it comes to suicide just take a look at some of my past posts. But until you choose to leave I would hope that everyone here would keep there mind as dignified as possible before exiting.

The Surprising Decline In Violence www.ted.com/talks/steven_pinker_on_the_myth_of_violence?language=en
 
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