Intro

[Thaneem]

Thanks for letting me onto the page. Long-time "pro-choice" person here. My father committed suicide when I was 4 years old (AR-15), so the reality of death has been with me nearly my whole life. This is likely what led me to become a funeral director (P.S.: I've seen the effects of many suicide methods due to my job - if curious, just ask).
Anyway, I've never really been happy. As a kid I was diagnosed with ADD and as an adult with schizoid personality disorder. I'm fairly intelligent but have the emotional development of a frog lol.
Despite it all, I managed to achieve a barely decent life over the course of the last 13 years, but that's now come to an end. In the last 8 months I've suffered an almost constant destruction on all fronts: my girlfriend of 9 years (who I found out had been cheating on me the entire time we were together) told me she was going on vacation for a week in February and never came back. I developed an extremely anxiety-inducing muscle spasm inside my ear. I paid 4k to have surgery to fix this, but its the same as before. My money is now gone (I have 300 to my name) and just 3 days my landlord told me he's not renewing the lease and I have 6 weeks to get out. These are just some of the issues.
I know we all have our stories and I don't mean to whine, so I'll end this here. Thanks again for accepting my request to join.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you have been through a lot. Life is just pointless suffering, I have never wanted to be alive. I see it as better to never be born in the first place. I wish you the best.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Welcome to sanctioned suicide. Sorry that life has brought you here. Maybe things will get better for you, we can only hope.
We have resource section you can check. We only provide information but choice is yours, and I would also advise to be careful whom you trust and what info do you trust here. Not everybody here is alpha and omega of biology/chemistry.
this are some thing you should know
ctb = catch the bus meaning commit suicide
N= nembutal
sn= sodium nitrite

Methods that are mostly useless and risky and almost not advised- cutting, drowning, night-night, suicide by cop, starving to death.

 

[Thaneem]

Hi - thanks for explaining the ctb. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what it stood for.
Yeah, I've no desire to mess around with chemicals/drugs. Not a chemist and that seems more like ideation to me. Even with the bag, Ive read so many accounts of people ripping it off while unconscious.
I live in the US in a gun-friendly state, so my method is clear.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Hi - thanks for explaining the ctb. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what it stood for.
Yeah, I've no desire to mess around with chemicals/drugs. Not a chemist and that seems more like ideation to me. Even with the bag, Ive read so many accounts of people ripping it off while unconscious.
I live in the US in a gun-friendly state, so my method is clear.

Oh.. I understand. Just please be mindful of people finding the body, and please still do the research, I have seen people not dying and having their face shoot and brain intact.
Also np, that what I am here for... at least for today.

 

[Thaneem]

Yeah, I've heard of this as well. People somehow surviving a shotgun blast to the head. On the other hand, as a funeral director, I've personally seen those who were successful with guns in ways that defy expectations. One guy used a 9mm handgun under the chin (wtf).
Thing with guys like that is they had extensive military backgrounds and could do things with guns most of us could never do (kind of like a chemist and drugs).
BUT - although I know some few survive this - the damage I've personally seen a shotgun do to the head makes me think that not dying instantly from that really puts you in the Guiness Book of World Records for "unluckiest f*cker to ever have been born".
Totally agree that research is key. Thats why I'm here

 

[fox_wannabe]

I have heard that bullet actually creates like expanding bubble of pressure that kills you. 9 mm is a huge diameter, and the velocity had to be big to. I think It was the pressure wave that bounced from the front of the skull killed him. We can think what was him at that point, when the part of brain that is making him function as a person was mushed.

What about after? What are your beliefs?

 

[Thaneem]

With the 9mm, honestly, there was just one little hole under his chin. That's it. Compare that to the first shotgun suicide I saw: the guy's entire skull was shattered and his face clung around the bones like a deflated balloon.
It's funny you ask me about the afterlife. I pursued "spiritual" things for many years and attained a meditative state called dhyana. My recent physical issued forced me to give these practices up (again, all within these last 8 months..trauma after trauma). I've experienced things that allow me to say this with confidence: there are forces that appear to be (though may very well not be) "entities". In other words, religion isnt just a bunch of BS. Something is behind it. I think society has marred these forces and projected its own "values" onto them. Thats where the mistake comes in.
I am confident in saying that the "after life", if there is one, doesnt care about what the Pope or whoever considers a "sin"

 

[fox_wannabe]

With the 9mm, honestly, there was just one little hole under his chin. That's it. Compare that to the first shotgun suicide I saw: the guy's entire skull was shattered and his face clung around the bones like a deflated balloon.
It's funny you ask me about the afterlife. I pursued "spiritual" things for many years and attained a meditative state called dhyana. My recent physical issued forced me to give these practices up (again, all within these last 8 months..trauma after trauma). I've experienced things that allow me to say this with confidence: there are forces that appear to be (though may very well not be) "entities". In other words, religion isnt just a bunch of BS. Something is behind it. I think society has marred these forces and projected its own "values" onto them. Thats where the mistake comes in.
I am confident in saying that the "after life", if there is one, doesnt care about what the Pope or whoever considers a "sin"

I reached lower Dhyana and went into vanishing, where everything stopped existing. But I am not a buddhist and I do not believe I should reincarnate anymore. I think reincarnation is a sham.

 

[Thaneem]

The funny thing about reincarnation is that (as I'm sure you know) it's not actually something we're supposed to want to do. Reincarnating is like trying to balance your accounting books and having excess debits or credits, but "new age" people treat it like some kind of accomplishment lol
Not a Buddhist either, but it is the most common sense religion Ive come across