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Fish_Princess

Fish_Princess

Fish out of water
Apr 5, 2023
14
What do I do when I know my mental is bad but its so internalized. It started when I realized I dont want to do art or crafts because it feels so meaningless. My art is isnt good and it feels like a waste of time. Whatever I craft is useless afterwards.
Now I know its not true, i can craft bookmarks or keychains. I can draw to be creative and let that flow.

But recently I realized it just boils down to how I feel so meaningless. Nothing I do is good and all these negative thoughts that just keep hitting me where it hurts. It makes me wonder why i feel so much weight just trying to live and do things

I scroll and scroll on social media just bc then im not thinking and if im not thinking I cant have these thoughts. But i know theyre wrong so why do i still think like this.

Makes me really sad. And apart of me wants to give into it and the other knows i shouldnt and it makes trying to do anything, getting better, so much more confusing and harder.
 
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Haematemesis

Haematemesis

Member
Jan 12, 2025
36
It really sucks to feel like this. I used to be more active. I used to read, play violin, learn about philosophy and stuff. Used to watch series and movies. I used to hit the gym and go to the swimming pool.

Nowadays I don't have the will to do any of that. It feels like a chore to do what I used to enjoy. Now I just listen music and smoke while scrolling social media which just makes it worse.

Maybe it is because I don't have anyone to share my experiences with.

"You read a book. Nice. But no one cares."

Because of this thought I feel like it is in vain.

I don't know how to overcome this but know you are not alone.
 
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Frozen Blood

Frozen Blood

still trying after all
Jan 9, 2025
11
I feel the exact same way. I know my mental health is bad, but I internalized so much shit that aren't true about me during my crisis that it "became" my truth now.

It did not help that I had some antagonists that would make me feel worse, like my boss that says horrible things about my work or one of my ex that decided that I made her sick because of my own depression.

But is important to recognize, even when you can't believe it that much, that you, INDEED, can do good stuff. That your art is valid, as any other is.

I would advise you to find another ways to run away from your thoughts, because I really believe doomscrolling is one of the major reasons a lot of people are getting worse in the last couple of years.

Good luck and enjoy your art, it's the most beautiful thing we can do as humans!
 
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sorrymyfault

Member
Oct 30, 2024
40
You hit the nail in the head for me, I do the same doomscrolling to avoid any actual thoughts coming to my brain, it isn't healthy, it made me dumber, I feel it.

Just know that your art isn't meaningless if it means you let your thoughts be a creative endeavor, and please don't put any kind of expectations for your art if that means killing the vibe in the process.

The best music I've made came from no expectations and the worst of my music came expecting something good or great.

Don't let the desire to be a better artist make your creative process a burden because I know the most freeing thing a human can do is make art and especially in struggling times not having that freedom to do whatever you want, be it liked by others or not, is even more damaging to yourself, at least from my experience.

Have a great day!
 
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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

Pollyanna, loon, believer in love, believer in you
Sep 19, 2023
1,992
What do I do when I know my mental is bad but its so internalized. It started when I realized I dont want to do art or crafts because it feels so meaningless. My art is isnt good and it feels like a waste of time. Whatever I craft is useless afterwards.
Now I know its not true, i can craft bookmarks or keychains. I can draw to be creative and let that flow.

But recently I realized it just boils down to how I feel so meaningless. Nothing I do is good and all these negative thoughts that just keep hitting me where it hurts. It makes me wonder why i feel so much weight just trying to live and do things

I scroll and scroll on social media just bc then im not thinking and if im not thinking I cant have these thoughts. But i know theyre wrong so why do i still think like this.

Makes me really sad. And apart of me wants to give into it and the other knows i shouldnt and it makes trying to do anything, getting better, so much more confusing and harder.
It's a very good question and a very hard problem to overcome. After reading my response below I realize I may have drifted a bit from your topic but I hope it's still somewhat relevant.

I'm dealing with it right now. I was working from home friday then off for the weekend and did almost nothing I enjoyed. Played a couple songs on my guitar and felt nothing. Haven't written any music. Haven't been playing the story games I love, just time-wasters. No joy, complete anhedonia, and feeling like it's all just a waste because I'm unhappy with the majority of the time I spend and not working towards anything.

Here's my plan: survive. That sounds really shitty, but here's what I know, because I've been fighting for so long: I have lived through something similar before. I have weathered very bad storms like this, and eventually I did want to write music again or play a new game or go somewhere new. It didn't make me a great musician, my music still didn't matter, but I know I've gone from enjoying/caring => no joy/no care => back to enjoying/caring.

I'm always going on to LaVieEnRose (sparing him the tag) about how I know my thoughts are wrong, but like you've said they're internalized and I can't just get rid of them. One thing I can do is be a little better at managing them through each cycle. I've learned how to manage my diet and whatnot, took a long walk outside this weekend, cut out alcohol until I feel better, etc. None of it has "worked," but it's kept me stable so the wheels don't fall off and when my mood improves I don't have to dig myself out of a huge hole.

In the end, do the good times outweigh the bad? It's a tough calculation, but probably 'no.' Still, I want those good times while I have the chance, so for now I will acknowledge that my thoughts are unproductive and misleading and keep trudging. The only way out is through.
You hit the nail in the head for me, I do the same doomscrolling to avoid any actual thoughts coming to my brain, it isn't healthy, it made me dumber, I feel it.
This is also absolutely killing me. Not even doomscrolling. Just refreshing this page and other pages and checking a couple apps where I know there probably aren't any updates. It's just extreme avoidance of what is in front of me that I have to confront. The one good thing I did this weekend was take some time to completely unplug just to force myself to let my brain work stuff out. It's not even rest, but like you said the distracting stimulation is just avoiding, so you're pushing all this crap down you have to work through, and there's a big backlog. Then, yeah, extreme brain fog like I'm a complete idiot.
 
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