Venting Internalized meaningless

[Fish_Princess]

What do I do when I know my mental is bad but its so internalized. It started when I realized I dont want to do art or crafts because it feels so meaningless. My art is isnt good and it feels like a waste of time. Whatever I craft is useless afterwards.
Now I know its not true, i can craft bookmarks or keychains. I can draw to be creative and let that flow.

But recently I realized it just boils down to how I feel so meaningless. Nothing I do is good and all these negative thoughts that just keep hitting me where it hurts. It makes me wonder why i feel so much weight just trying to live and do things

I scroll and scroll on social media just bc then im not thinking and if im not thinking I cant have these thoughts. But i know theyre wrong so why do i still think like this.

Makes me really sad. And apart of me wants to give into it and the other knows i shouldnt and it makes trying to do anything, getting better, so much more confusing and harder.

 

[Haematemesis]

It really sucks to feel like this. I used to be more active. I used to read, play violin, learn about philosophy and stuff. Used to watch series and movies. I used to hit the gym and go to the swimming pool.

Nowadays I don't have the will to do any of that. It feels like a chore to do what I used to enjoy. Now I just listen music and smoke while scrolling social media which just makes it worse.

Maybe it is because I don't have anyone to share my experiences with.

"You read a book. Nice. But no one cares."

Because of this thought I feel like it is in vain.

I don't know how to overcome this but know you are not alone.