Venting insanity

[garcelle]

i cant go a minute without thinking of killing myself and it drives me insane, most of the time i have had to punch myself for the thoughts to subside for a bit. its gotten so bad that i attempted hanging myself with a scarf a couple of times for it to stop, but i obviously failed.
a couple of "it will be ok kiddo" comments would help right now.

 

[NoDream]

It will be ok kiddo ;)

During your life it will be easier in periods, when you fall in love or find an intresting job. But every time you get stressed out it returns.
Some people live their whole life like this. Do you have PTSD?

 

[Thereisnothing]

You obviously failed as it wasn't to be. These thoughts of killing yourself drive you insane its not nice is it, seems relentless. How to get through the next second, minute and hour............then you realize a few hours have gone by and you are still here. There are no easy answers and doing things on the spur of the moment is very dangerous. Would it help to share with us what is causing you all this distress? Thoughts can be awful to deal with, but often they reach a peak and they settle down a little, even if they do flare up again. It can often help to share what is the cause of the despair. We are here for you.

 

[garcelle]

It will be ok kiddo ;)

During your life it will be easier in periods, when you fall in love or find an intresting job. But every time you get stressed out it returns.
Some people live their whole life like this. Do you have PTSD?

thankyou i needed that, and no i dont have ptsd

 

[BPD Barbie]

Hey, things will be ok and you will get past these thoughts and feelings. Nothing lasts forever and these feelings certainly won't. Don't let them win! You're stronger then they are and you're worth a lot more than some crappy thoughts. We're here for you, you're not alone

 

[garcelle]

You obviously failed as it wasn't to be. These thoughts of killing yourself drive you insane its not nice is it, seems relentless. How to get through the next second, minute and hour............then you realize a few hours have gone by and you are still here. There are no easy answers and doing things on the spur of the moment is very dangerous. Would it help to share with us what is causing you all this distress? Thoughts can be awful to deal with, but often they reach a peak and they settle down a little, even if they do flare up again. It can often help to share what is the cause of the despair. We are here for you.

i honestly dont even know what the underlying stresses are because this has become so normal for me, but im guessing it might have something to do with me being gay

 

[Sensei]

Well, I don't know exactly what it is that you struggle with, but most problems have a possible solution, so the odds are certainly in you favour. Are you perchance young? If so, sexuality can be very confusing when you're young. It may be tough now, but eventually you will come to terms with what and who you are.

 

[Thereisnothing]

i honestly dont even know what the underlying stresses are because this has become so normal for me, but im guessing it might have something to do with me being gay

Well that is something at least, if you think could be down to you being gay. In what what does that cause you stresses, coming out about it, accepting it or are you not sure?

 

[garcelle]

Well that is something at least, if you think could be down to you being gay. In what what does that cause you stresses, coming out about it, accepting it or are you not sure?

most likely accepting it. although you would think i would come to terms with it the second i got my girlfriend. im beginning to think there is something wrong with my brain

 

[Sensei]

im beginning to think there is something wrong with my brain

What makes you think so?

 

[garcelle]

What makes you think so?

i can be relatively happy but somehow i get taken away by the thoughts. it can leave me feeling physically drained or like when someone cores a fruit

 

[Flippy]

Have you thought about talking to a counselor about how you feel? Nobody should feel ashamed or stressed about being gay. Despite all the progress humans have made towards excepting gay people there still seems to be an awful lot of bigoted people around. :-(

 

[garcelle]

Have you thought about talking to a counselor about how you feel?

yes. did it help? no.
maybe those counselors sucked; i doubt that they would be able to make me feel better now but fortunately you guys are making me feel somewhat better

 

[Despondent]

It'll be okay kiddo!! Sending hugs from me to you ❤ You're not alone. I'm here if you need ANYTHING. Pm me when you need to talk. I want to listen

 

[Flippy]

yes. did it help? no.
maybe those counselors sucked; i doubt that they would be able to make me feel better now but fortunately you guys are making me feel somewhat better

If you find it's helping talking on here then talk about things as much as you want! If it does you good keep going with it! :-)

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Hang in there kiddo! Sending you and

 

[SanitySalvage]

I know that feeling and I'm so sorry. Any time leave home it starts to happen, but it goes away if I distract myself with things like funny videos. I'm currently watching a show called Joe Pera Talks With You and it calms me down. Maybe it can help you?

I wish you the best.

 

[Flippy]

I know that feeling and I'm so sorry. Any time leave home it starts to happen, but it goes away if I distract myself with things like funny videos. I'm currently watching a show called Joe Pera Talks With You and it calms me down. Maybe it can help you?

I wish you the best.

I watch the Angry Video Game Nerd :-) Not everyone's cup of tea but it helps me quite a lot, the comedy is quite funny and I think I find seeming images of old video games and systems comforting. :-)

 

[SanitySalvage]

I watch the Angry Video Game Nerd :-) Not everyone's cup of tea but it helps me quite a lot, the comedy is quite funny and I think I find seeming images of old video games and systems comforting. :-)

Oh yeah! I know that guy :)
I haven't watched him in a while. I mostly watch "Let's Play"ers these days, but him and the Nostalgia Critic are classics!

 

[Flippy]

Oh yeah! I know that guy :)
I haven't watched him in a while. I mostly watch "Let's Play"ers these days, but him and the Nostalgia Critic are classics!

I enjoy both Nostalgia Critic and The Nerd particularly when I'm feeling well! I used to watch some let's plays, mainly what we call retrogames these days. But in my day we just called them games! :-D

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I could do it today. But I don't feel too prepared..

 

[k75]

i cant go a minute without thinking of killing myself and it drives me insane, most of the time i have had to punch myself for the thoughts to subside for a bit. its gotten so bad that i attempted hanging myself with a scarf a couple of times for it to stop, but i obviously failed.
a couple of "it will be ok kiddo" comments would help right now.

I'm so sorry. I suffer from intrusive thoughts like this, and it's so hard to cope with sometimes.

One thing that has really helped me is being prescribed lithium. It seems super scary, but it's actually not so bad. It's proven to help combat suicidal thoughts. I've been on it twice. This round, it hasn't made the thoughts completely go away, but I'm not bombarded by them.

Recently, I learned about a type of OCD that centers around obsessive suicidal ideation. That was a shock to me, because I'd never realized OCD could be thought based before.

 

[BadRNG]

i honestly dont even know what the underlying stresses are because this has become so normal for me, but im guessing it might have something to do with me being gay

Me too I hate that I am gay , I don't know why god couldn't make me straight like I just want to be normal..