Discussion Inappropriate sexual approaches on here

[liberty_222]

There definitely was, although I'm curious to see the posts @rationaltake were talking about as well, in case there are more.

Yes i would like see them too

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I don't understand where nyt is trying to get. Predators are everywhere. I don't see them trying so hard when it comes to predators in places of worship or education or hospitals?

This is an amazingly well-made point that highlights the hypocrisy of the articles and others. Thanks for bringing it up!

 

[rationaltake]

Was there someone other than me who mentioned it? Can you link their post?

Somebody had received an inappropriate PM and said it had been reported to the mods.

 

[liberty_222]

Ah I hope we don't misunderstand each other unnecessarily. I think the abuse is very real and has been happening for a while now. The timing is just a coincidence I think and not directly related to NYT with e.g. fake news being posted. I don't think there has necessarily been a spike. It takes a strong, brave person to speak out, that's what I think happened a few times in a row. A lot of abuse goes completely unreported and we're all concerned about that.

I think most of the times it goes unnoticed because it's pretty subtle. Most of us are used to being talked to like this so we don't immediately realise when something is off. It's when we talk to others and the same name comes up that we realise oh we weren't wrong in feeling what we were.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

You remember that guy on twitter? He was also a self acclaimed politically correct feminist who painted his nails black and shit. Exactly why i said what i said. I'm uncomfortable since that thing with that guy.

Yes I heard about it but I would to read about it. Situations like that should be in the public eye so that people know that anyone could be completely disingenuous about their motives. It's like there was a public benefactor in UK called Jimmy Savile, but he got away with all kinds of horrible paedophilic things with vulnerable children because he was a celebrity. There was no justice at all, he was only prosecuted after he died. That needs to never happen ever again, it's a disgrace.

 

[Bleak]

Ah I hope we don't misunderstand each other unnecessarily. I think the abuse is very real and has been happening for a while now. The timing is just a coincidence I think and not directly related to NYT with e.g. fake news being posted. I don't think there has necessarily been a spike. It takes a strong, brave person to speak out, that's what I think happened a few times in a row. A lot of abuse goes completely unreported and we're all concerned about that.

I don't disagree with any of that and hope I did not come across as dismissive.

 

[pole]

I find the timing of this kind of suspicious. Right when the forum has publicly been slandered as predatory by the NYT, suddenly there is a spike in sexual predation? By all means do everything possible to stamp instances of it out, but I would also be wary if new accounts start popping up with lurid tales.

this has been an issue since the forum was created in 2018. nothing new. we've had issues and have addressed it multiple times over the years.

and it's a prominent issue on this forum. why? because there are vulnerable members on here that love to prey on those they can easily take advantage of.

the problem is that people outside of the forum and the NYT article make it sound like it's the forum that's the problem and inherently wrong. but is that the case? these types of problems exist not because of the forum, but because of horrible people that tend to feel more comfortable targeting vulnerable individuals.

the point is these types of people exist in all areas of our life. we may not know it, but they are amongst us here, and definitely amongst myself and all of you in our real life.

these people outside of the forum act as if these problems of predatory behavior are simply exclusive to the forum, which is bullshit.

it's sad that people outside the site are focused more on criticizing online safe spaces for those that have endured predatory behavior in their personal lives, and do everything in their power to take away their only place of comfort. instead of trying to shut down forums and making people feel even more lonely, they should perhaps focus on discussing the problem of predatory behavior and what we can do about it in this shitty world.

they care more about using these issues to further demonize the forum, when they don't give a single shit about the issues at all.

 

[liberty_222]

this has been an issue since the forum was created in 2018. nothing new. we've had issues and have addressed it multiple times over the years.

and it's a prominent issue on this forum. why? because there are vulnerable members on here that love to prey on those they can easily take advantage of.

the problem is that people outside of the forum and the NYT article make it sound like it's the forum that's the problem and inherently wrong. but is that the case? these types of problems exist not because of the forum, but because of horrible people that tend to feel more comfortable targeting vulnerable individuals.

the point is these types of people exist in all areas of our life. we may not know it, but they are amongst us here, and definitely amongst myself and all of you in our real life.

these people outside of the forum act as if these problems of predatory behavior are simply exclusive to the forum, which is bullshit.

it's sad that people outside the site are focused more on criticizing online safe spaces for those that have endured predatory behavior in their personal lives, and do everything in their power to take away their only place of comfort. instead of trying to shut down forums and making people feel even more lonely, they should perhaps focus on discussing the problem of predatory behavior and what we can do about it in this shitty world.

they care more about using these issues to further demonize the forum, when they don't give a single shit about the issues at all.

I honestly don't think that predatory behaviour here is a bigger issue than it is anywhere else. Nyt is just nitpicking. They are never so bothered about harassment on a much larger scale on platforms like instagram and twitter just because they're mainstream media.

 

[Chinaski]

I don't understand where nyt is trying to get. Predators are everywhere. I don't see them trying so hard when it comes to predators in places of worship or education or hospitals?

This is true but l think I'm this instance it's not illegitimate for people to observe the heightened vulnerability of the victims, who suffered greatly at his hands, and how that vulnerability was sourced via this website - which is why this thread is so important and why we all have a responsibility to report objectively suss behaviour.

There should be no benefit of the doubt for "social awkwardness" in light of that gruesome case, l understand the views of those drawing that distinction and l personally don't block and hardly ever report posts but we shouldn't excuse creepy conduct nor dismiss the Glasgow case with "predators are everywhere", there are obvious reasons why such a person would zero in on this place and we all have a responsibility when it comes to keeping this forum safe from those people. @Hass post above was genuinely reassuring and made clear that if anything *seems* creepy, even if it's ultimately harmless, it should be reported instantly and l think it's on all of us to be vigilant regarding this, especially given how mods don't necessarily see everything unless we point it out.

 

[liberty_222]

I don't disagree with any of that and hope I did not come across as dismissive.

No no i understand your concerns. Don't worry.

This is true but l think I'm this instance it's not illegitimate for people to observe the heightened vulnerability of the victims, who suffered greatly at his hands, and how that vulnerability was sourced via this website - which is why this thread is so important and why we all have a responsibility to report objectively suss behaviour.

There should be no benefit of the doubt for "social awkwardness" in light of that gruesome case, l understand the views of those drawing that distinction and l personally don't block and hardly ever report posts but we shouldn't excuse creepy conduct nor dismiss the Glasgow case with "predators are everywhere", there are obvious reasons why such a person would zero in on this place and we all have a responsibility when it comes to keeping this forum safe from those people. @Hass post above was genuinely reassuring and made clear that if anything *seems* creepy, even if it's ultimately harmless, it should be reported instantly and l think it's on all of us to be vigilant regarding this, especially given how mods don't necessarily see everything unless we point it out.

I completely agree with you.

 

[pole]

I honestly don't think that predatory behaviour here is a bigger issue than it is anywhere else. Nyt is just nitpicking. They are never so bothered about harassment on a much larger scale on platforms like instagram and twitter just because they're mainstream media.

exactly.

how i feel is that they don't care about the issue of predatory behavior or harassment at all. i believe they use the issue at hand to further vilify the forum and portray it as this space that needs to be gone immediately.

and it's disgusting. if anything, the forum provides those that can't speak freely about their experiences of harassment with others in their real life to discuss it in safe spaces like this forum, comfortably and freely.

i just hate and have zero respect for people that don't care about these issues, but use them as a weapon to vilify or demonize those they have a problem with.

 

[pole]

This is true but l think I'm this instance it's not illegitimate for people to observe the heightened vulnerability of the victims, who suffered greatly at his hands, and how that vulnerability was sourced via this website - which is why this thread is so important and why we all have a responsibility to report objectively suss behaviour.

There should be no benefit of the doubt for "social awkwardness" in light of that gruesome case, l understand the views of those drawing that distinction and l personally don't block and hardly ever report posts but we shouldn't excuse creepy conduct nor dismiss the Glasgow case with "predators are everywhere", there are obvious reasons why such a person would zero in on this place and we all have a responsibility when it comes to keeping this forum safe from those people. @Hass post above was genuinely reassuring and made clear that if anything *seems* creepy, even if it's ultimately harmless, it should be reported instantly and l think it's on all of us to be vigilant regarding this, especially given how mods don't necessarily see everything unless we point it out.

completely agree.

nonetheless, i think these discussions in general are healthy on the forum. it sheds light on important issues, offers different perspectives, and encourages people to reach out and understand that they aren't alone.

 

[rationaltake]

I'm impressed by @liberty_222 for being brave enough to speak out.

I'm impressed by @Hass for understanding the problem and tackling it.

I'm impressed by all the members who have posted intelligent and supportive comments on this thread.

So many organisations would sweep this sort of thing under the carpet.

I'm proud to be a member of this community.

 

[liberty_222]

I'm impressed by @liberty_222 for being brave enough to speak out.

I'm impressed by @Hass for understanding the problem and tackling it.

I'm impressed by all the members who have posted intelligent and supportive comments on this thread.

So many organisations would sweep this sort of thing under the carpet.

I'm proud to be a member of this community.

Yes had it not been for hass i might not have said anything at all.