Storyteller
A story that has been left untold
- Mar 22, 2023
- 51
I should be glad and even proud of who I have become - a friendly person with a great imagination and a big heart. With the ability to see the bigger picture and evaluate people on their merits and shortcomings, and in most cases forgive these shortcomings. Isn't that the rarest ability?
However, it all seems useless. I've watched a lot of people, both real and fictional. All these people are different from me, and I got the impression that they are more successful than I am. No matter how you look at it, I have practically not achieved any significant success in life, although it would seem that with such good characteristics I should be on top. But no. No one is interested in me, and life itself doesn't want to keep me here on Earth. And it's painful to realize, I like being such a person, but I can't win like that. It's evident to me more and more that if I were tougher and colder, my life would be much better.
Now, with pain in my chest and with bitter acceptance, I am waiting for the moment when I leave in the hope that if I have a chance for a new life, I will be a completely different person, with those abilities with which you can survive in this world and be on top. One thing is scary to realize for me - it may be at the expense of others well-being, something that I would never sacrifice in this life.
I hope this doesn't sound snotty, not that I want a pity for myself. In my life I never put myself above the others and didn't have high self-esteem. This can't be changed now, I'm broken and my decision is final. Like I said earlier, "Better luck next time." Or not. It doesn't matter to me anymore. If I disappear into nothingness, so be it. This doesn't sound bad either.
However, it all seems useless. I've watched a lot of people, both real and fictional. All these people are different from me, and I got the impression that they are more successful than I am. No matter how you look at it, I have practically not achieved any significant success in life, although it would seem that with such good characteristics I should be on top. But no. No one is interested in me, and life itself doesn't want to keep me here on Earth. And it's painful to realize, I like being such a person, but I can't win like that. It's evident to me more and more that if I were tougher and colder, my life would be much better.
Now, with pain in my chest and with bitter acceptance, I am waiting for the moment when I leave in the hope that if I have a chance for a new life, I will be a completely different person, with those abilities with which you can survive in this world and be on top. One thing is scary to realize for me - it may be at the expense of others well-being, something that I would never sacrifice in this life.
I hope this doesn't sound snotty, not that I want a pity for myself. In my life I never put myself above the others and didn't have high self-esteem. This can't be changed now, I'm broken and my decision is final. Like I said earlier, "Better luck next time." Or not. It doesn't matter to me anymore. If I disappear into nothingness, so be it. This doesn't sound bad either.
