Venting In some way, I like being mentally ill.

[SomewhatLoved]

I think part of it is maybe attachment and not really knowing anything else. Of course a lot of it is bad. The longing, inability to connect with others, loneliness, cynicism, pessimistic outlook, lack of passion or motivation, etc...

But at the same time I like those bright moments. I think the fact that my "bad" days are probably much worse than the average person also makes my good days much better than the average person. Some days I just feel like I have unlimited energy and I want to do so many things. Or I remember when I was in a relationship that I was able to maintain, I was so enamored by my partner. I'm not sure I would have felt that way if I was normal, sane, emotionally adjusted, etc.

I like having my obsessions.

The logical question that follows this in my head is are the obsessions and positive periods worth the suffering? I'm not sure how to answer that, at least yet. In the past a lot of the time it wasn't, I've been close to CTB at least twice. But sometimes maybe it does.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

That is fair. There are a lot of negatives about having a mental condition, but trying to look at the positives is a way to brighten up one's life. I, for one, feel less pressured about fitting in because, well, I'm autistic and sometimes I can just use that excuse. Also, my hyperfocus, when it works, it makes me learn a lot about a specific subject while loving every second of it.

Not to downplay the negatives, of course, but I think we deserve that kind of treat for already having such problems on our lives anyway!

 

[Holu]

I'm Bipolar 2. Even before I was officially diagnosed I was diagnosed with GAD and MDD. I was diagnosed with GAD when I was 6 and MDD at 8. I've lived most my life under the impression I'm mentally ill, and at this point I wouldn't trade my illness for anything, because in a sad way it's shaped so much of my experiences and identity that it is me.

So I also like being mentally ill, because in a disturbing way it's just me being true to myself. I don't really like being me, but I'd still rather be me than anyone else

 

[SomewhatLoved]

I'm Bipolar 2. Even before I was officially diagnosed I was diagnosed with GAD and MDD. I was diagnosed with GAD when I was 6 and MDD at 8. I've lived most my life under the impression I'm mentally ill, and at this point I wouldn't trade my illness for anything, because in a sad way it's shaped so much of my experiences and identity that it is me.

So I also like being mentally ill, because in a disturbing way it's just me being true to myself. I don't really like being me, but I'd still rather be me than anyone else

Yes exactly.

I feel like so much of my experiences in life, intersts, and who I am have been defined or at least influenced by my psyche. I think if I was well adjusted I wouldn't even be me. It's just intangible. It's sad to say but there is no me without my mental illness.

 

[Holu]

Yes exactly.

I feel like so much of my experiences in life, intersts, and who I am have been defined or at least influenced by my psyche. I think if I was well adjusted I wouldn't even be me. It's just intangible. It's sad to say but there is no me without my mental illness.

I am my mental illness lol. Its probably the most consistent thing in my life unfortunately

 

[gottacheckout]

I don't know anything different. My illness has literally been with me my whole life. It is an intrinsic part of me. By the time I could walk and talk it was obvious that I had issues. My parents trained me to not stand out but I could never fit in.