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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
7,004
Perhaps a less commonly discussed topic with respect to suicide and death is about manipulators and those who threaten CTB as a means of control or to get what they want. I think both pro lifer anti choice people (majority) as well as pro-choicers (we, us) both agree that people who use suicide threats as a manipulation tactic is a scummy thing to do. With that said, I do want to delve into it a bit and also cover an angle that isn't commonly discussed. I believe that there are about two types of those who use the threat of suicide, type 1 and 2 (I coined type 1 and 2 just for easier reference), respectively, even if the lines between them are blurred.

The manipulators are the Type 1 group, meaning that they use it to control the other party and/or to get what they want. They usually don't have a desire to CTB, but rather for the other party (or parties) to cave in (give in) to their demands. These are highly looked down upon as they are manipulators and really deceptive. It's not just pro lifers who despise people like those, but we here as well. This is because they give us a bad name and also further the stigma against discussion of suicide and similar topics. An classic example of a Type 1 is where someone wants to obtain something from someone who has more leverage or power and knows that he/she could not obtain it, so he/she resorts to demanding for said thing and threatening suicide to get it. This could be like a boy/girlfriend threatening the SO (significant other) to give something or to control the SO's behavior (like not wanting him/her to leave the relationship). Of course, this example is oversimplified, but the point is clear, using the threat of CTB to control and manipulate the other party, or person to comply with the demander's requests. We can all agree that this is wrong.

The other group, albeit less common is the Type 2 group. This is the group that talks about CTB and these are the people who are simply tired of life and just want to end their pain. They mention about CTB'ing if something doesn't go right, but isn't using it to control others or manipulate others. In fact, they genuinely want to die. However, the problem with that is that since society and most people lump type 1 and 2 together in the same category, they view them just as bad as Type 1, which is unfortunate and wrong. An example of this is where someone is in pain and just wants to die and he/she tells someone that if something doesn't improve (e.g. health, financial security, other reasons, etc), he/she would just CTB. As far as society and pro life anti choicers are concerned, they view the Type 2 person to be manipulative and/or mentally ill, irrational. The latter part stems from ignorance as not all people who wish to CTB are mentally ill or irrational (as mentioned in other threads). The reason why the Type 2 person is not the same as Type 1 is the fact that their threat of CTB'ing is not to control or influence others' decisions or lives, but rather just an expression and wish to be free of pain. Regardless of what others do, this Type 2 person would still wish to CTB, but not dependent on what others' do or don't do.

What are your thoughts on this?
 
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Tintypographer

Tintypographer

I am done as of 4-21-2023. Somewhere I am no more
Apr 29, 2020
470
Sometimes I fear I'm a type 2. I don't want anyone to know about my desire to ctb because I absolutely don't want them to try and stop me or get me help. I want to simply disappear with no way for anyone to get anything more from me.

I don't like the idea of someone trying to help me or stop me. My preferred method is jumping from someplace high and I'm enamored with the golden gate bridge. I haven't had the strength to go through with it yet.
I told someone once that I was at the hospital waiting to go in and get evaluated and they stopped me and then staged an intervention with my family. I don't ever want to be there again so I keep it totally quiet.
 
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Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
I used to be the type 1. I hate that I was. Now I feel like I've slipped past saying anything to the point of everyone genuinely thinking I'm okay, but I never told them how deep my plan went. It just kept twisting and winding. I think they thought it was all theatrics (which, in part it was) but now that I was a type1 there is no going back. No convincing people 'no really I'm actually gonna do it' now, the part has been played and it's old news
Good discussion topic.
 
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Joey

Joey

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2020
1,432
I'm definitely type 2 and I do agree on your posts with the 2 types. Type 1s make the 2nd one look bad and make it look like some Middle-School Drama type stuff.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
7,004
Sometimes I fear I'm a type 2. I don't want anyone to know about my desire to ctb because I absolutely don't want them to try and stop me or get me help. I want to simply disappear with no way for anyone to get anything more from me.

I don't like the idea of someone trying to help me or stop me. My preferred method is jumping from someplace high and I'm enamored with the golden gate bridge. I haven't had the strength to go through with it yet.
I told someone once that I was at the hospital waiting to go in and get evaluated and they stopped me and then staged an intervention with my family. I don't ever want to be there again so I keep it totally quiet.
I feel ya. I'm going via the firearm method when my time comes as I'm more comfortable and confident of my success with that.

I used to be the type 1. I hate that I was. Now I feel like I've slipped past saying anything to the point of everyone genuinely thinking I'm okay, but I never told them how deep my plan went. It just kept twisting and winding. I think they thought it was all theatrics (which, in part it was) but now that I was a type1 there is no going back. No convincing people 'no really I'm actually gonna do it' now, the part has been played and it's old news
Good discussion topic.
I'm sorry to hear that your experiences with others have been bad, but of course, there is one advantage if people seem to ignore your pleas (not in a bad way) and it's the fact that there is less chance of being intervened against. At any rate, I hope you are able to find the peace you are looking for when the time comes. :hug:

I'm definitely type 2 and I do agree on your posts with the 2 types. Type 1s make the 2nd one look bad and make it look like some Middle-School Drama type stuff.
Very true. I think if there wasn't as much Type 1's about, then at the least, we may have less stigma, and perhaps be taken more seriously about actually wanting 'peace' rather than being painted as manipulators.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,082
The manipulators are the Type 1 group, meaning that they use it to control the other party and/or to get what they want. They usually don't have a desire to CTB, but rather for the other party (or parties) to cave in (give in) to their demands. These are highly looked down upon as they are manipulators and really deceptive
I'm familiar with a manipulative covert narcissist who says he is trying to kill himself regularly simply to make me feel sorry for him. His entire way of interacting with me from the start was all about trying to get sympathy and have me react with alarm, concern and pity.

You really have to know someone well to know the difference usually. It took me a while to realize that not only did he not want to kill himself but he was out doing things and having the time of his life almost always with friends. He simply was in search of kind hearted people who would give that kind of attention to him. He was always telling me about various people who were "victimizing" him also. There was a huge amount of self pity from him.

Watch our for anyone who immediately tells you about how someone is somehow victimizing them, or someone who always has things they themselves want in a bitter envious way.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
7,004
I'm familiar with a manipulative covert narcissist who says he is trying to kill himself regularly simply to make me feel sorry for him. His entire way of interacting with me from the start was all about trying to get sympathy and have me react with alarm, concern and pity.

You really have to know someone well to know the difference usually. It took me a while to realize that not only did he not want to kill himself but he was out doing things and having the time of his life almost always with friends. He simply was in search of kind hearted people who would give that kind of attention to him. He was always telling he about various people who were "victimizing" him also.
I'm sorry to hear that you had to deal with him or people like him. Yes, it is difficult to immediately differentiate between the two as mentioned, the line is blurred between the two types (one who is using it for attention and controlling others versus one who genuinely wants to die and be at peace). I hope you are able avoid people like him and find peace.
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,015
Sadly it is people's instinct to ask what we need or want to feel like we don't want to die. This desire people have to be the savior or prevent the tragic even leaves them vulnerable to emotional vampires.

This makes situations where there is a fairly simple fix for suicidal desire become complicated. I was put in a place where I was like "well shit even if I get what I need I still need to ctb or the person will later assume my actions were manipulation", so I just said nothing will help I want nothing.

Sad how bad people manipulating others set up the stigma that we are all doing it.
 
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VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
Aug 10, 2020
1,156
if i'm being 100% honest, i'm a type 2. i'm the type of person who says "i'm going to kill myself" when i forget to do something or do something wrong.

with social media's romanticization of depression, anxiety, and suicide, saying things like that aren't as concerning (at least, to the younger generation), and people have started saying things like that more often. there's nothing wrong with using humor to cope, in my opinion. (sorry if this wasn't what you were talking about, op. it was just the first thing that came to mind when i read the type 2 description). the only time i see something wrong with it is if you intentionally make them to someone who's uncomfortable/triggered by topics like ctb.

there's nothing wrong with talking about your desire to ctb. the only time when it's wrong, like you mentioned, is when it's used to gain leverage over another person and manipulate them.
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,082
Sad how bad people manipulating others set up the stigma that we are all doing it.
I still choose to believe people until I find out they are not being truthful and have an ulterior motive. There were lots of things he was always doing that lead me to realize he was a covert narcissist besides talking about trying to kill himself. It's a full set of things.
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

The only place that allows negative feelings.
Aug 7, 2022
1,515
Perhaps a less commonly discussed topic with respect to suicide and death is about manipulators and those who threaten CTB as a means of control or to get what they want. I think both pro lifer anti choice people (majority) as well as pro-choicers (we, us) both agree that people who use suicide threats as a manipulation tactic is a scummy thing to do. With that said, I do want to delve into it a bit and also cover an angle that isn't commonly discussed. I believe that there are about two types of those who use the threat of suicide, type 1 and 2 (I coined type 1 and 2 just for easier reference), respectively, even if the lines between them are blurred.

The manipulators are the Type 1 group, meaning that they use it to control the other party and/or to get what they want. They usually don't have a desire to CTB, but rather for the other party (or parties) to cave in (give in) to their demands. These are highly looked down upon as they are manipulators and really deceptive. It's not just pro lifers who despise people like those, but we here as well. This is because they give us a bad name and also further the stigma against discussion of suicide and similar topics. An classic example of a Type 1 is where someone wants to obtain something from someone who has more leverage or power and knows that he/she could not obtain it, so he/she resorts to demanding for said thing and threatening suicide to get it. This could be like a boy/girlfriend threatening the SO (significant other) to give something or to control the SO's behavior (like not wanting him/her to leave the relationship). Of course, this example is oversimplified, but the point is clear, using the threat of CTB to control and manipulate the other party, or person to comply with the demander's requests. We can all agree that this is wrong.

The other group, albeit less common is the Type 2 group. This is the group that talks about CTB and these are the people who are simply tired of life and just want to end their pain. They mention about CTB'ing if something doesn't go right, but isn't using it to control others or manipulate others. In fact, they genuinely want to die. However, the problem with that is that since society and most people lump type 1 and 2 together in the same category, they view them just as bad as Type 1, which is unfortunate and wrong. An example of this is where someone is in pain and just wants to die and he/she tells someone that if something doesn't improve (e.g. health, financial security, other reasons, etc), he/she would just CTB. As far as society and pro life anti choicers are concerned, they view the Type 2 person to be manipulative and/or mentally ill, irrational. The latter part stems from ignorance as not all people who wish to CTB are mentally ill or irrational (as mentioned in other threads). The reason why the Type 2 person is not the same as Type 1 is the fact that their threat of CTB'ing is not to control or influence others' decisions or lives, but rather just an expression and wish to be free of pain. Regardless of what others do, this Type 2 person would still wish to CTB, but not dependent on what others' do or don't do.

What are your thoughts on this?
Oh god I finally understand why social support group & services & even the suicide hotline ban me. They think I'm just trying to manipulate them! I express my real distress dumb fuckers! I asked for help for more than 20 years and they still want to make me fill forms & send me away to call another place. So yeah I say there is no time left I can't take the pain anymore & think of suicide nonstop! Just stop bulshitting me & let's do some real helpful actions! Not just therapy about how to be a better person & tolerate distress ... But figure out how to save my fucking life before my problem literally kills me or I kill myself.

I hate how people have to commit Or threaten suicide to get help and even then it's the wrong help...

Genius post. Thanks