snoot

snoot

Member
Dec 1, 2020
34
Things have gone from bad to worse for me. Pregnancy, trauma, psychotic episodes from the hormones, now I'm coming to terms with the fact my ex sexually assaulted me. It's like my brain has tried all kinds of ways to block out what he did but I just can't escape it anymore. The pregnancy hormones seem to be gone finally, but I don't feel any better and I realise the assault is the main thing causing all this pain.
I'll also have to move in 3 months time because my landlord is selling my flat, but there's a housing crisis where I am so it's just another reason to ctb.
I had another mental health episode today and texted my parents about how I feel suicidal. I keep losing time during these weird blackouts, so I got worried when I finally came down to earth and saw the messages - but in the end I didn't have anything to worry about.
It's funny because they both reacted the same, told me I'm being silly, acted like I'm not struggling. I think my dad has narcissistic tendencies because he turned the conversation back around on himself to act like a victim after I said I want to kill myself lol. My mum was like "you don't understand what you're saying" and then "I'm going to sleep" when I tried to ask for help.
I'm kind of glad I did say something now, because now I know they don't really care. Makes it a lot easier.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,914
I'm not even surprised that those people are acting in such a way, it's so insensitive to invalidate suffering like that, I just think that so many people are way too self centred to ever care and won't even try to understand.
 
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snoot

snoot

Member
Dec 1, 2020
34
I'm not even surprised that those people are acting in such a way, it's so insensitive to invalidate suffering like that, I just think that so many people are way too self centred to ever care and won't even try to understand.
The worst part is I am so used to everyone invalidating my pain now. Tbh it kind of drives me to ctb even more. We live in a sick, selfish world.
 

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