Impossible to make friends as an adult

[TheGoodGuy]

I had tons of friends and close friends as a child and teenager and whenever on a rare occasion I would hear that someone didn´t have any friends my age I never understood it, but now at age 29 I sadly do I have no friends and it´s so hard even impossible it seems to make friends at this age I would love to have someone I could just meet up with maybe 1-2 times a week but apparently that is too much to ask for.

Anyone else feel like this like you´re unfriendable?

 

[The Burning Fool]

I can't even trust people enough to accept them as friends. I see them for the selfish, evil beasts that they are. There's just no way back for me, being human is a game I've been gradually opting out of.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I can't even trust people enough to accept them as friends. I see them for the selfish, evil beasts that they are. There's just no way back for me, being human is a game I've been gradually opting out of.

I bet you´re not exactly young then (i.e teenage age) I am 29 and it is horrible that we have to feel this way, I used to trust everyone you do that when you´re younger but then after years or over a decade of people stabbing you in the back, betraying you, using you and generally treating you badly you almost lose hope or in your case might have lost hope entirely it´s so sad because not all people are horrible but it sure as hell feel like that sometime just the other day someone went off on me for nothing by calling me horrible things why are so many people like this? :(

 

[garota suicida]

eu não tenho amigos e também sinto dificuldade em fazer novos

 

[The Burning Fool]

I bet you´re not exactly young then (i.e teenage age) I am 29 and it is horrible that we have to feel this way, I used to trust everyone you do that when you´re younger but then after years or over a decade of people stabbing you in the back, betraying you, using you and generally treating you badly you almost lose hope or in your case might have lost hope entirely it´s so sad because not all people are horrible but it sure as hell feel like that sometime just the other day someone went off on me for nothing by calling me horrible things why are so many people like this? :(

I'm 31. Covid lockdown was a milestone in the deterioration of my mental state. I know what you mean, sometimes you even try to be extra friendly, chatty or whatever and all you get back is rejection and insults. I was never good at making connections with people. There had been a few close friends who attracted others to our social circle before I lost them. But I've always been the weird guy in the background like some kind of ugly, avant-garde work of art that only a select few can appreciate.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I'm 31. Covid lockdown was a milestone in the deterioration of my mental state. I know what you mean, sometimes you even try to be extra friendly, chatty or whatever and all you get back is rejection and insults. I was never good at making connections with people. There had been a few close friends who attracted others to our social circle before I lost them. But I've always been the weird guy in the background like some kind of ugly, avant-garde work of art that only a select few can appreciate.

It´s sad to read that from you and also other members because when we chat online you usually seem fine but I get it´s not the same I have Asperger's so sometimes of course in real life some people can give off "weird" vibes but I generally just care if people are kind and respectful towards me.

 

[The Burning Fool]

It´s sad to read that from you and also other members because when we chat online you usually seem fine but I get it´s not the same I have Asperger's so sometimes of course in real life some people can give off "weird" vibes but I generally just care if people are kind and respectful towards me.

In my opinion, one needs a lot more patience and trust to interact with people in real life. All parties in personal interactions are more vulnerable than online. I'm just afraid of exposing myself to any danger. Although there is a lot of potential pleasure for all parties in meeting other people with genuinely good intentions who sympathize, listen, and share their stories, like you do with me here. By the way, thanks for being here.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

I think it's hard to make friends at any age. The hardest time is in your teens or early 20's, after that it's still hard but slightly easier as people tend to mellow and realise that everyone is fucked up in one way or another

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I had tons of friends and close friends as a child and teenager and whenever on a rare occasion I would hear that someone didn´t have any friends my age I never understood it, but now at age 29 I sadly do I have no friends and it´s so hard even impossible it seems to make friends at this age I would love to have someone I could just meet up with maybe 1-2 times a week but apparently that is too much to ask for.

Anyone else feel like this like you´re unfriendable?

And it gets no easier as you get older.

 

[SexyIncél]

Older people tend to have friendships of usefulness, whereas younger people have friendships of pleasure. This suggests becoming useful in achieving people's goals

Of course, now the question is: how to be consistently useful?

Note: friendships of usefulness aren't enduring — you'll get a big proportion of users & gold-diggers. The usual trick is to leverage them to find people with compatible virtue. Let the others come & go, like a firm that lets contractors come & go. Psychological attachment to them individually is an error with funny consequences

 

[EternalShore]

Too true! >_<
Friends want you to share interests! That's never going to happen with me... If someone is willing to be around you for any duration, they're just using you and going to betray you when you need them for anything or want to do things you actually like with them, no matter how small! >_< I hate people so much! :(((

 

[HighFlight]

I've had problems with build friends throughout my life. In college, I had several friends, but it was in many was just of friendship of usefulness. I was in a position to help others in their studies and getting resources from the school. Lost track of all of them within a year.

Now, several decades later, I don't have anyone I would call a friend. I have several close coworkers scattered throughout the US and several other countries. But the social connections scare me. So while I like the idea of friendships, I doubt I will ever be able to build that type of relationship at my age.

Destined to be lonely for life.

 

[Tobacco]

When I was 18 I decided not to go to college because I wanted to be an entrepreneur and not have an extended adolescence.

Now I want to go back to make friends.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

I think it is easy to make friends. But only if you play the game and just chat nonsense, pretend to be interested in what they say and don't tell them too much about yourself. What is difficult is making close friends. If you are depressed or struggling, nobody really cares so will run a mile if you open up to them. Also, if you really listen to people, you realise that everyone likes talking about themselves and they are all pretending. As I've got older I've realised most people are fucked up in one way or another. But most people can play the game, put on a mask and get through somehow. The people who come to this site struggle with life in general. There is a reason why people come here to open up, only like minded people can cope with other's feelings. Long ramble ... sorry!!