Venting imbalances

[batmanreal]

it's so unfair, i always love people more than they love me. people move on from me so easily, i just never make an impact. i am constantly thinking about all of my old friendships, i miss my friends so much. no one can say that for me, though. i'm forgotten so easily. i know all relationships are imbalanced to an extent, but this is too much. everyone was so special to me, but i'm basically nothing, i just want to be special to someone.
i never receive the same amount of care or understanding that i give to others, but then they'll extend that care and understanding to someone else.
i'm so tired of this, every new relationship or acquaintance i establish makes me feel so much worse, but i really can't be alone. this is too much to handle, it's so hard to breathe and i have such a hard time every single day. all my thoughts consist of my past friendships and how i'm so unimportant and replaceable. having multiple breakdowns daily about this shit. no one and nothing is helping, i can't live like this. i need to die. i'm so exhausted, i just want it to end

 

[Katatonia]

I get that feeling. Everyone being your first choice but never being someone else's first choice. Its so lonely, and it makes it hard to want to make more friends, bc it ends up the same every time. I tend to end up getting obsessive over relationships. And i get thinking about past friendships. It fucking sucks being left behind and its tiring putting in effort for people who don't care enough to return it.

I hope that you find someone who truly appreciates you. Hopefully we both can.