Venting i'm worthless

[billie]

for years i've been hurt and abandoned by people who were once important to me and i still ask myself to this day what i did to deserve this.
i think something is wrong with me.
i have borderline personality disorder and that doesn't make it any easier.
i have a strong fear of being abandoned by people who are important to me and i become emotionally dependent.
i feel worthless and i'm firmly convinced that i'm worthless.
many of my friends here in sasu tell me that they love me and that they care about me and i love them too and i care about them too but the past always catches up with me.
i just want to be asked if i'm okay and if i want to talk and maybe then i would feel less worthless.

 

[EmpressDean]

Love you Billie I'm in the same boat. I don't know if I have bpd but i feel things way too much and I have been alone most of my life. I don't have a single friend and idk why. I guess I don't have a manual for that lol. It's crazy how we can care about total strangers but our hearts want to reach for a human connection. If only I lived in a world where I saw all of you

 

[-nobodyknows-]

No, you're not.

However, from my experience, I have found that most people don't like to hear about other people's problems, especially in regard to mental health. I don't think it's because they don't care, but rather because they feel like there's nothing they can do.

 

[soonnotkoei]

No, you're not.

However, from my experience, I have found that most people don't like to hear about other people's problems, especially in regard to mental health. I don't think it's because they don't care, but rather because they feel like there's nothing they can do.

its sad seeing so many people be like that. sometimes you just need someone to listen to you, not even do anything. i dont know what the problem is with some people, but cant blame them. some feel like they have to do something about it, and therefore decide not to listen.

 

[LowLevelChimp]

Relate entirely, the only time the people in my life respond to my greetings and texts is if they want something from me. I always tried to be helpful and people pleased because I just wanted to be liked.

I have finally accepted that people don't like me and probably never will and this year will be different I will try to be truer to myself and look after me until I get the courage to take the final trip.

I hope your friends do start to treat you with a bit more respect and you get the friendship you deserve, I wish you well.

 

[kapa]

Been there all my life. I completely understand how you feel. Everybody keep telling me that I have to love myself first and blah blah. But that never helped.

 

[needthebus]

if you have bpd, you should try dbt

unlike things like antidepressants that show barely any improvement compared to a placebo, dbt redults in extreme improvemens for people with bpd. dbt is dialectical behavioral therapy

 

[billie]

if you have bpd, you should try dbt

unlike things like antidepressants that show barely any improvement compared to a placebo, dbt redults in extreme improvemens for people with bpd. dbt is dialectical behavioral therapy

i tried dbt but it didn't help

 

[needthebus]

i tried dbt but it didn't help

did u do the group or just the therapist? did you get the videos and workbook?

sorry if you did and it didnt help :-(

 

[ineed2die]

if you have bpd, you should try dbt

unlike things like antidepressants that show barely any improvement compared to a placebo, dbt redults in extreme improvemens for people with bpd. dbt is dialectical behavioral therapy

damn more work to do.

 

[futurecorpse]

for years i've been hurt and abandoned by people who were once important to me and i still ask myself to this day what i did to deserve this.

This. I ask myself that all the time and the only answer I can come up with is that I did something wrong. Even as a 9 year old, I must've done something wrong to be rejected

i have borderline personality disorder and that doesn't make it any easier.
i have a strong fear of being abandoned by people who are important to me and i become emotionally dependent.
i feel worthless and i'm firmly convinced that i'm worthless.

Me too and it's fcking hell. My ptsd developed because so many people have rejected, neglected, abused, and abandoned me. I'm a codependent person but as a way of taking control I choose to isolate so that no one can hurt me. It helps but only so much. It's very easy to fall down the rabbit hole of self-depreciation. I've been there many times and am currently stuck there

but the past always catches up with me.
i just want to be asked if i'm okay and if i want to talk and maybe then i would feel less worthless.

History has a messed up way of repeating itself, whether it's by our doing or not Are you okay? (Might be dumb of me to ask, but still wanted to know). Do you want to talk?

 

[DoneWithThisLife]

You are not worthless.

BPD is a bitch and people who don't understand it don't like people like us trying to talk about it with them. My experience of people is that they will say things that make us feel even worse than we already do - "no that's not true" "you'll get over it"