Venting I'm worried about my mom

[aimlessghost]

Hi, I'm new here. I've been thinking of ctb for a really long time, but i'm really afraid of how my mom will feel if i actually do it. For many years i felt guilty for kinda "ruining" her life, i actually hate that she gave me birth. I made her life a mess, she also messed up mine, but that's one of the reasons of why i want to leave this world.

I wonder if she will need me, or if i'll be too cruel if i leave her, that really makes me go insane. I don't want to make things even worse for her, but i can't do it no more... Am i being selfish or something like that? I want to know your opinions.

Thank you.

 

[TheHolySword]

I think ctb is inherently selfish in a way, but I don't think that's entirely a bad thing. All I can say is that you should make sure your mom knows that you love her. I know you said it may have partially been her fault, but if you want to spare her as much as you can, do your best to assure her that it was not her fault. People have a tendency to blame themselves anyway, and they will think for a long time about what they could have done differently, if they could have done anything to help. Sometimes there's nothing anyone can do, and even if they're told that they won't want to believe it. There's never an easy answer or guide for something like this. CTB usually involves leaving people behind and that's something we have to accept. I hope that you are able to find peace

 

[aimlessghost]

thank you!! i feel kinda relieved now :]]