dreaming_of_pearl
I miss you I love you I’m sorry
- Jun 10, 2023
- 54
At least here I'm safe from twitter, ig, tumblr ect so I can talk about this freely. I am weirdly trauma-bonded to the hotline Miami franchise because my old freind group and I held it so close when we were all a train wreck. We were all cosplayers.
I keep slowly finding more pics on my cloud storages of the whole thing but it.. it pisses me off. It was me and me freinds Seth, Brianna, Hannah, Justin and the list goes on and on and on. We all met each other over the course of megacon, Paradise city comic con, metrocon, and holmat, as well as some smaller events like AFO. When we all were going to the same cons we wanted to cosplay from hlm because we could pull it off well despite us all being shit at cosplay. We slowly started to get more and more into the AD night scene at cons and it's not fucking fair.
We all just wanted to be included and have fun, most of us smoked weed or drank some (I didn't yet for a whileee) but that was it and we would roll around on the floor saying how we were litterally them and so cannon. Thing were like fine untill we went to a holmat or metro room
Party when I was 16 we were all around 15-17 Seth was like 16 too it's hard to remeber now. But I snuck away from my other friends to go with my group to a room party. Istg the cons blend together when you go to so many
It was fun me and Seth were in the bathroom drunk asf took this one chick we didn't know in her 20s started doing coke lines w her freinds and they loved our cosplays of jacket and biker. They offered us a line because we deserved some fun, and we said no but they kept insisting it was fun, I have fomo so I was going to try it, then Seth said he would do it for me, he told them it was because I was under the weather or already hammered or something like that , but it was because he knew I wouldn't be able to stop.
So he did like 2 lines with them and everyone I. That bathroom celebrated but us, I watched him from the floor worried and when the other ppl got distracted with some bullshit he cried to me about how his life is gonna be changed forever. I'm pretty sure some of our group ended up trying things for the first time too at either that holmat, or afo/ metro. I stayed the most sober out of everyone only drinking.
All I know is the next time we saw eachother almost evreyone was being destroyed by whatever they chose. Nobody liked it and we all found comfort in hlm so everyone cosplayed it a lot with me cosplaying it the least because I didn't know the most about the lore despite lowkey obsessing over it then. I mostly remember certain moments being drunk helping some of my favorite people cosplay my favorite characters from my favorite series not die. Shortly after Seth got into coke evreyone got into everything with me still mostly staying sober with alcohol.
It got kinda worse each year to where I kinda stoped cosplaying biker for a bit in hopes I would feel better but I still had to help them all be safe I had to help Hannah off molly, I had to help Justin off a mix of whatever the fuck. I don't know what name they prefer now but I had to help my freind cosplaying the son not use a dirty needle while cosplaying the son, that one stuck with me. I had to roll them over on their side so they would be safe in case they puked.
And at that time Seth and a few others and me started dabbling in sex work. Seth went fully into it, I only did partial I did certain favors in cosplay. And evreyone still fucking cosplayed hlm because we were all fucking scared bro. People are scary we were 17-16 and people still wanted to spend hours with us. We all talked on and off and on and off and then the pandemic hit and like half of us stopped responding. And life resumed normal and so did everything but with less of us now. It was mostly me and Seth. Hell the only reason I was even okay with the biker x jacket ship was because me and Seth cosplayed them.
I'm also 90% Seth was in some kinda shady line trafficking thing or something idk what it's called like he was being pimped out or some shit?? he wasn't paied he got paied from a dude but he didn't want to let me know much because he was scared I would get hurt. He also sometimes just got paied in drugs.
We got beat on, hit, choked. And we were always looked down upon. We all switched accounts we made new identities to do he same thing and ran over and over and over in hopes we would be fine and mabye people wouldn't hate us all. Most ppl left social media we lost contact with a lot of us.
And then like a bit ago Seth disappeared he was not doing good and just left. And now it's really just me I'm the only one who survived that shit sober. Minus now because yeah. But we all fucking we're slowly dying holding onto a game we all loved. I pray to god Seth is alive. I pray to god Hannah is getting clean and the rest are too, I hope bri isn't gonna disappear too.
I get asked ALOT why I'm so close knit to the game it's one of the last comforts I had at that time..
I keep slowly finding more pics on my cloud storages of the whole thing but it.. it pisses me off. It was me and me freinds Seth, Brianna, Hannah, Justin and the list goes on and on and on. We all met each other over the course of megacon, Paradise city comic con, metrocon, and holmat, as well as some smaller events like AFO. When we all were going to the same cons we wanted to cosplay from hlm because we could pull it off well despite us all being shit at cosplay. We slowly started to get more and more into the AD night scene at cons and it's not fucking fair.
We all just wanted to be included and have fun, most of us smoked weed or drank some (I didn't yet for a whileee) but that was it and we would roll around on the floor saying how we were litterally them and so cannon. Thing were like fine untill we went to a holmat or metro room
Party when I was 16 we were all around 15-17 Seth was like 16 too it's hard to remeber now. But I snuck away from my other friends to go with my group to a room party. Istg the cons blend together when you go to so many
It was fun me and Seth were in the bathroom drunk asf took this one chick we didn't know in her 20s started doing coke lines w her freinds and they loved our cosplays of jacket and biker. They offered us a line because we deserved some fun, and we said no but they kept insisting it was fun, I have fomo so I was going to try it, then Seth said he would do it for me, he told them it was because I was under the weather or already hammered or something like that , but it was because he knew I wouldn't be able to stop.
So he did like 2 lines with them and everyone I. That bathroom celebrated but us, I watched him from the floor worried and when the other ppl got distracted with some bullshit he cried to me about how his life is gonna be changed forever. I'm pretty sure some of our group ended up trying things for the first time too at either that holmat, or afo/ metro. I stayed the most sober out of everyone only drinking.
All I know is the next time we saw eachother almost evreyone was being destroyed by whatever they chose. Nobody liked it and we all found comfort in hlm so everyone cosplayed it a lot with me cosplaying it the least because I didn't know the most about the lore despite lowkey obsessing over it then. I mostly remember certain moments being drunk helping some of my favorite people cosplay my favorite characters from my favorite series not die. Shortly after Seth got into coke evreyone got into everything with me still mostly staying sober with alcohol.
It got kinda worse each year to where I kinda stoped cosplaying biker for a bit in hopes I would feel better but I still had to help them all be safe I had to help Hannah off molly, I had to help Justin off a mix of whatever the fuck. I don't know what name they prefer now but I had to help my freind cosplaying the son not use a dirty needle while cosplaying the son, that one stuck with me. I had to roll them over on their side so they would be safe in case they puked.
And at that time Seth and a few others and me started dabbling in sex work. Seth went fully into it, I only did partial I did certain favors in cosplay. And evreyone still fucking cosplayed hlm because we were all fucking scared bro. People are scary we were 17-16 and people still wanted to spend hours with us. We all talked on and off and on and off and then the pandemic hit and like half of us stopped responding. And life resumed normal and so did everything but with less of us now. It was mostly me and Seth. Hell the only reason I was even okay with the biker x jacket ship was because me and Seth cosplayed them.
I'm also 90% Seth was in some kinda shady line trafficking thing or something idk what it's called like he was being pimped out or some shit?? he wasn't paied he got paied from a dude but he didn't want to let me know much because he was scared I would get hurt. He also sometimes just got paied in drugs.
We got beat on, hit, choked. And we were always looked down upon. We all switched accounts we made new identities to do he same thing and ran over and over and over in hopes we would be fine and mabye people wouldn't hate us all. Most ppl left social media we lost contact with a lot of us.
And then like a bit ago Seth disappeared he was not doing good and just left. And now it's really just me I'm the only one who survived that shit sober. Minus now because yeah. But we all fucking we're slowly dying holding onto a game we all loved. I pray to god Seth is alive. I pray to god Hannah is getting clean and the rest are too, I hope bri isn't gonna disappear too.
I get asked ALOT why I'm so close knit to the game it's one of the last comforts I had at that time..
