Venting I'm very scared

[HappySisyphus]

I don't know what is happening to me, I have a very important exam in like 10 hours, probably the most important exam of my life so far, it costs like 300 dollars which is so expensive in my country, and it feels like I'm having a mental breakdown, the world seems fake, when I look outside my window it just doesn't feel real, it feels like it is like one of those miniature places made of paper mache, sounds sound weird somehow, I want to throw up, I don't know why but it feels like I don't have any depth perception for some reason, what it is just outside my window seems like it is so much farther than it actually is, everywhere where I'm not focusing with my eyes feels like it's trembling, I have no balance, I just want to leave and go really far but I can't, not for another 2 years, I have too much stuff to do, only then I can leave hopefully, to somewhere really far, It won't solve everything but I pray to god it helps, because if it doesn't I don't know what will, I hate myself and I hate so many people, I feel like I'm too good and superior to be alive, I didn't deserve any of this, my head feels weird, it hurts, I pray I will look back at this moment tommorrow and wonder what the fuck was wrong with me because I don't want to feel like this for long, I tried smoking to see if it helped but now I just have to much saliva in my mouth, maybe I'll just keep going to see if it helps.
Some brazilian girl replied to a post of mine saying she doesn't give a fuck about killing her cat and how she is a hurricane, I don't know how that is relevant but it just seemed funny to me and really needed to say I guess, i guess I'm not like that at least, that would be depressing, in case she sees this, 7-1.
Hopefully I'll be ok when I wake up, I don't really want to sleep right now though.

 

[Abyssal]

It sounds like you have never experienced this before, so are you alright? What you are going through sounds bad enough to get an extension on that exam or maybe a refund.