Venting I’m unloved

[ThunderBringer]

My depression makes it impossible for me to feel loved but I know what it's supposed to look like. My parents never said 'I love you'. My father died when I was 12 and my mother only ever beat, starved, isolated, and humiliated me until one of my friends invited me to live with him and his family when I was 18. They don't love me the way the love their real son of course, why would they. It just hurts me so much when I remember that I will never feel parental love. It simply wasn't meant for me I suppose. Now I'm an adult and I have to carry on knowing that I have no real family, no real mother. No hope of feeling cared for in that way. I have the best friends in the world and I thought that would help fill the void but all it does is remind me of what I don't have. My friends have families. The love they offer me will never be enough. Nothing will ever be enough. It's like trying to fill a bottomless pit, I should just get rid of myself and save everyone else the trouble of dealing with my whining

 

[Macedonian1987]

I know exactly how you feel. The only time time I ever felt real love was when I was a kid (I'm 38 now) from my grandmother. Since then nobody ever loved me, not my parents and no woman has ever loved me back due to my asperger's. I decided to put an end to this loveless existence this year. It's cruel to see other people for entire 38 years being happy and in a relationship, while you rot away sad and alone... always alone and unloved.

 

[lawlietsph]

I'm so sorry you have to live your life with such a disadvantage. People who have loving parents can't even imagine the pain we feel. You are basically missing a fundamental part of your personality, and to fill this void is just simply impossible.
I know how you feel...
I've always had food and shelter, but I was neglected in every other way, and was beaten up by my mother all the time. I've been told horrible things that no child should ever hear from their parents.
Yeah, i'm sorry and i wish there was something i could say to help, but I know there is nothing to heal this kind of pain. And no amount of "love yourself" bullshit is going to help with this.
But honestly I bet you became a kind person who has lots of love in his/her heart. I hope some day someone is going to recognize this and be a true friend for you.

 

[Jamesbond]

I love you bro. I love everyone until I have a reason not to. I thought most people worked like that but I'm a 42 year old about to gas myself in a tent.even if you're surrounded by people who love you if it's a mental barrier it won't change how you feel. It just adds to the guilt you feel when you can't change to make them happy.

 

[cluefixphantom]

I am unloved too. No one ever really liked me, and I didn't have any friends- no family or friends at all. Often, it was because people found me unattractive, ugly, strange and I was too slow or too dumb for others... there was always something negative they see on me. When you don't have fulfilling human relationships, life feels even more meaningless. I'm not rich either, so I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do here. I sometimes wish I could take revenge on my parents because they brought me into this world just because they wanted to. I was unlucky to be their child and now have to cope alone with physical disabilities and poverty and hate crimes against me. So far, I haven't been able to take revenge, but I think it would give me some sense of fulfillment if they suffered. I haven't found anything in life that truly feels valuable. Being born is fundamentally bad because you always have needs to satisfy, and that usually requires money and human respect, human rights - and those are things I don't have.

I think it's a big crime when people or animals just reproduce because they are fertile enough to do so. I'm really unhappy having to live in this body and needing food, feeling physical and emotional pain and it's made even harder because other people make it difficult for me to get what I need to feel better, because I was born among poor parents, I am lower-class, have disabilities and female body who also is just a open door for more shit. I wish I could switch bodies or just die in my sleep after a succesful revenge imo.

I have filed criminal complaints, but the police and authorities just laugh because they don't have to live like this themselves and are psychopathic - they have no sympathy for vulnerable humans. Everything in this nation is commercial.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

OP your story sounds rough.

I was never fully loved either and it creates a problem that can't be fixed. Or rather, that only the bus can fix. People who aren't up to the task of being proper parents should be sterilized for everyone's benefit including theirs. Now I harbor feelings of hatred toward my parents.

 

[kitkatt]

I suffer now in life because my parents did not love me. I relate to knowing those families who've taken you in don't love you like they would their own flesh and blood. It's so hard being like this. I shouldn't be this way I didn't ask for this. It's not fair that they fucked me up and no matter what I do I don't think I'll ever get "better" just a time bomb of self loathing and regret that I couldn't have just been given a fighting chance at least in life by being loved selflessly by those jerks who choose to pull me into this.