slightoverlooked
Specialist
- Dec 27, 2023
- 301
ik i said i wont come on here till i ctb but i need a place to share my thoughts. honestly, I rlly want to die rn. I'm so exhausted and hopeless. Im alive for my mother and cats...but in addition, I am also too stubborn to ctb.
I went through all this shit and so many suicide attempts but still picked myself up and went to university, started working a job, adopted cats, and found so many irl friends that are good people....I should just keep going at this point....
It makes me angry because I am exhausted. Life is still a struggle with my mood swings, severe chronic depression, anorexia, and sh addiction. But I remember all those times when people gave up on me or when teachers told me I would never make it to uni. I can't kms yet. I'm too stubborn. Hell even if I stay lonely forever who gives a fuck. I never needed anyone in my life. I can do all these things alone.
(Is this what child neglect and lack of romantic love do to people?...am I just in delusion that I can do everything alone?)
Whatever it is..I am going to stay alive at least till I am 25. I'm writing this with tears in my eyes because I am angry. I wish I could just ctb right now. But I am too stubborn. My pride is too big right now.
Anyway..thank you for reading. Its 5 am and I woke up at 4 am for suhoor and to study. To all Muslims readings this..I wish you a healing and beautiful ramadan!!
I went through all this shit and so many suicide attempts but still picked myself up and went to university, started working a job, adopted cats, and found so many irl friends that are good people....I should just keep going at this point....
It makes me angry because I am exhausted. Life is still a struggle with my mood swings, severe chronic depression, anorexia, and sh addiction. But I remember all those times when people gave up on me or when teachers told me I would never make it to uni. I can't kms yet. I'm too stubborn. Hell even if I stay lonely forever who gives a fuck. I never needed anyone in my life. I can do all these things alone.
(Is this what child neglect and lack of romantic love do to people?...am I just in delusion that I can do everything alone?)
Whatever it is..I am going to stay alive at least till I am 25. I'm writing this with tears in my eyes because I am angry. I wish I could just ctb right now. But I am too stubborn. My pride is too big right now.
Anyway..thank you for reading. Its 5 am and I woke up at 4 am for suhoor and to study. To all Muslims readings this..I wish you a healing and beautiful ramadan!!
