Below has worked great for me and a couple of my other buddies growing up and long into adulthood.
I think what separates some from others is the concept of "having game". This can be as subtle as fully being mindful as to receiving and giving verbal and non verbal clue. Are you aware of these clues?
Do you flirt subtlety? Are you mindful of how others flirt? Do you have a sense of humor and know how and with whom to use it? Are you engaging? What are your interests and are these sharred by your "target market". Perhaps the women you approach aren't interested in hearing about Dungeons and Dragons? (This comment might not be directed at you per se, but I promise you this basic premise is resonating with someone right now).
When I was in college all the cute girls in my classes were talking about "Luke and Laura" in some soap opera on TV. Guess what? I went home and started watching and then started engaging about Luke and Laura at my uni. Made lots of cute friends as a result. What have you done that's similar?
Just on this forum I see interesting people discussing 90 Day Fiance. My advice for you is start watching this show and start interacting in this thread to gain experience. Are you alert and aware of stuff like this on your own? If not, learn on your own how to figure this stuff out.
There are always TV shows that will have a high viewership of those with whom you want to interact. Examples during my life time include Beverly Hills 90210, Thirty Something, Friends, American Idol....
My first job after grad school everyone at work always talked about the Church Lady from Saturday Night Live, and although it was past my bedtime and I hated that new cast and I had a fiance, I watched just so I could contribute to the discussion while at work lunches on Mondays.
Do you know how to dance? Are you a good Dancer? Become one.
What music do you like? If you like heavy death metal and all your target market like Beyonce, then listen to Beyonce to have something more in common. Learn to dance GREAT to the music your target market likes. Then go to clubs and shake your money maker, baby!
Are you afraid of rejection? Get over it!!! Life is a numbers game. Learn this and accept it..... No fear!!!
Work on your overall knowledge base.
Give up video games!!!!
Watch the history Channel, discovery Channel, etc.
What do you read? Start reading more.
Are you intelligent? Become smarter.
Are you confident? Do you stand and walk confidently? Confidence attracts the opposite sex.
Do you work out? What is your physique like? Do you eat healthy? Get fitter.
I've cycled (road bike) over the years and lift weights. Getting really good at cycling has had great benefits for physical fitness (read attracts the opposite sex) and because my skill set was strong it attracts others in the sport towards me. (Read I've helped train female friends to become better riders and obtained a girl friend in the process).
What are you good at? If you answer video games, go reread what I typed above. I suggest you consider cycling, if there are reasonably safe streets to ride in your area, or swimming. Both sports develop nice lean bodies. Here is how I look at it. Perhaps 50%??? Of the females might prefer a more buff guy. (I used to play American college football. Hence, been there done that). But, most these females seeking buff guys aren't MY target market. My target market is the triathlete type body and generally they like lean dudes in return.
What does YOUR target market prefer?
What is your diet like? Eat healthy. Lots of attractive people eat healthy.... Join their club. Eat healthy and your entire essence/auroa will change.
Do you practice visualization techniques? For relationships I find this works incredibly well for myself. Try it.
From experience. I can tell you this works for me and others.
Good luck and invite ol' Chupacabra to your wedding.