Venting I'm tired of being a fraud

[Ermitão]

People that don't really know me think i am good person for being a decent stepfather to a child with disabilities and always having a a calm and polite demeanor, but the truth is that i am a loser. I never wanted to do nothing with my life, i only my first got a part-time job at 27yo and stayed in it for less than a year, i got in public college just so my family would stop bothering me and an am in my 8th year of a four years course. Now my girlfriend is pregnant and is starting to see me for who I really am and hating me.
I've been thinking about ending myself since i was as young as 6 or 7 yo but never gathered the courage to do it, the closer i've ever got was a few years ago when i almost jumped off a bridge, but got scared when i saw some rocks where i would possibly land. Maybe the time has come for me to try again.

 

[Helvete]

Whatever you do, just make sure to carefully consider the possible effects and what other options could be. Also, I get that sometimes it can feel like you are a loser due to the school and work thing but this is all ok. Society sets standards for what you should accomplish but everyone moves in their own time scale. Taking longer to finish school or not having a job until later on does not mean you are a loser, and it is actually very common nowadays. The fact that you have spent so much effort trying to take care of a child as well as work and school shows that you actually are achieving alot and are a driven person! The girlfriend scenario is tough, especially since she is pregnant, but ultimately you have to do what is best for your happiness, so if you need to take a step back for your responsibilities to focus on yourself and your mental wellness then that is probably the best thing you can do. I hope you find success in whatever you do !

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I hate that word loser. Regardless, I think trying at all makes you anything other than a loser. With that being said, I support your absolute right to decide for yourself whether to live or die. I'll admit I have some reservations about it with you, but only because your gf is pregnant with your child, and what you decide to do will entirely affect your child in countless ways, but, in the end, you will always have the right to decide for yourself what is in your best interest. I hope you give your decision the contemplation that it deserves before you do anything. Good luck.