Venting Im such a pussy.

[VampQueen]

I'm trying to do it but I can't. I did a swipe down my left arm but I can't bring myself to swipe again.

Why can't I swipe again? Why can't I bring myself to finish the job?

I just need to get it over with because I can't life anymore. Im tired of living but scared of dying.

Someone talk to me or give me advice

I can't fucking bring myself to finish the job I started

 

[aWeeBitTired]

It's a mystery, I feel, why we do what we do or can't do what we want to do. I'm so sorry for the pain you feel

Do you have bandages nearby to help the wound?

 

[VampQueen]

It's a mystery, I feel, why we do what we do or can't do what we want to do. I'm so sorry for the pain you feel

Do you have bandages nearby to help the wound?

Yes, I have a makeshift kit.

I'm trying to make a second swipe but I can't fucking do it. WHY CANT I DO IT?! WHATS PREVENTING ME FROM LEAVING?!

So i should care fornthe wound and finish then hu?

 

[333s]

you do less when you think more
at this state it's probably impossible to "finish the job"
id advise you to stop now give yourself time and wait until you catch the impulse strong enough for finishing

completely understand you, felt that
and sadly still here
sending you love

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Your SI is probably just acting up, which is completely normal and something that most people go through, including myself. Also, in this particular case, this actually might be for the best since I'm assuming, based on you talking about swiping your arm, that you were trying to ctb by cutting an artery there. That's actually a very ineffective ctb method, with a very low success rate and, depending on how deep you cut, a very high chance of permanently disabling yourself.

 

[3/4Dead]

Also, in this particular case, this actually might be for the best since I'm assuming, based on you talking about swiping your arm, that you were trying to ctb by cutting an artery there. That's actually a very ineffective ctb method, with a very low success rate and, depending on how deep you cut, a very high chance of permanently disabling yourself.

Want to add to this as someone who cuts/is in a few cutting communities; people get all the way down to muscle, nick arteries and veins on the way down, treat the wounds at home and still live with the nerve damage all the time. Its been proven to be a lousy method to ctb but I just wanted to add this, as ive seen that it's so much more likely that youll hurt yourself permanently and not ctb. there are other accessible, less painful, and more efficient methods.

Wishing you love, speedy and safe healing, and to find peace <3