Venting I'm stuck in a cycle!!! :(

[TheDevilsAngel]

Hey guys and gals it's been awhile since my last post, I need to vent and I have no one to do so with. So here I am.... Since I've last been on it's been a rollercoaster for me, good and bad. Right now as my circumstances stand I'm in a relationship which I don't feel secure I feel everyone is against me in this world especially my boyfriend, I feel he wants and desires other woman he says it's not true but in my head my demons tell me otherwise. I feel I'd be better single again but then I'll cut and get even more suicidal it's a continuous cycle. I'm so sick of this world and the majority of people in it. Only so many take the time to understand. I never saw myself as a bad person but maybe I am :( everything seems to go wrong for me and this isn't self pity not imo anyway . So what do I do ? Should I try escape or be here not to mention I'm afraid of him and what he may do if I end it, it's so hard and I see no way out. I can't end my life for years yet like how can I, I need to be here for my kids until there adults at least. I just want the voices in my head to stop I want to be free not lost in the depths of despair, it's been too long....maybe I'll never be free maybe I deserve to suffer, inside I'm screaming out for help. My meds clearly don't work well at times I feel they do I just don't know anything anymore I'm so lost ......

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be so awful feeling trapped in that situation, existence really is just so unnecessarily cruel and it's understandable feeling so tired of this hellish world. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

It must be so awful feeling trapped in that situation, existence really is just so unnecessarily cruel and it's understandable feeling so tired of this hellish world. But anyway I wish you the best.

Thank you so much for your support and for everyone else's here. I appreciate knowing I'm not alone, there are so many people like me..... It might be easier for me if I wasn't so mentally ill and cant make my mind up or make proper decisions about my life.. I hate the demons in my head there completely taking over :(