Venting I'm so worried about my mom after I'm gone

[momdontcryplease]

I feel so guilty about what I will put her through. It's like I'm stuck between two places. I am causing her suffering by staying alive but I will also cause her suffering by dying. I can't think straight right now I feel really sad. I wish I had someone to help me or just to talk to maybe. I have so much that I want to say but I can't talk to people because it will annoy them to constantly hear about suicide. I really really wish I was not born into this family and that I was an orphan.

 

[Bagobones9]

I'm only still here so my grandma doesn't have to see My brains on the roof so I relate for sure always here to talk

 

[DragonWingsOnFire]

If you need someone too talk too, i could be the one. I dont care what you are talking about to, just dont mean or hateful. Btw i have a lot of time of my hands so i should be able to talk a lot then you need it.

 

[Bagobones9]

If you need someone too talk too, i could be the one. I dont care what you are talking about to, just dont mean or hateful. Btw i have a lot of time of my hands so i should be able to talk a lot then you need it

Wait Denmark is a real place?

 

[DragonWingsOnFire]

Wait Denmark is a real place?

yes it is a country (look at google maps)

 

[Bagobones9]

yes it is a country (look at google maps)

Sorry forgot Denmark not existing isn't a known meme

 

[DragonWingsOnFire]

Sorry forgot Denmark not existing isn't a known meme

oh wow, i just have zero social skills ;) mb

 

[Bagobones9]

oh wow, i just have zero social skills ;) mb

Ur completely fine tone doesn't come through well over text and it's a pretty stupid meme

 

[DragonWingsOnFire]

Ur completely fine tone doesn't come through well over text and it's a pretty stupid meme

Well thx for saying that, i guess im not that bad after all

 

[Bagobones9]

Well thx for saying that, i guess im not that bad after all

You seem pretty cool form this short interactions besides the whole being from "denmark" thing can I pm u I need friends bruh

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like such a difficult situation to be in, it's dreadful how there's so much suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[DragonWingsOnFire]

You seem pretty cool form this short interactions besides the whole being from "denmark" thing can I pm u I need friends bruh

sure we can be friends, sry did not answer, im not really used to using this website and i dont get notifikation. Like if you could add me on discord or something i should be able to chat a lot more, and we could be friends

 

[BeratingLife]

Even though my parents were the ones who inflicted this depressing ordeal on me, id still feel bad if i surprise them with my death. They rely on me to becoming successful in life and i cant imagine the pain and distraughtness id bring to them if i ctb. Because of this im reluctant to go through with my sn plan. Sometimes i just wish they just actively hated me and wanted me to be out of their lives. I just wish they already see me as a disappointment and have no expectations or trust on me. I hate that i still carry this worry

 

[suchaprettygard3n]

I feel so guilty about what I will put her through. It's like I'm stuck between two places. I am causing her suffering by staying alive but I will also cause her suffering by dying. I can't think straight right now I feel really sad. I wish I had someone to help me or just to talk to maybe. I have so much that I want to say but I can't talk to people because it will annoy them to constantly hear about suicide. I really really wish I was not born into this family and that I was an orphan.

i get you completely. i know this would kill her. like seriously. but i just dont think im strong enough to keep going sometimes.

i know what u mean about not being able to talk to people either. i could never say to anyone what i feel inside. if u ever just have a thought u need to get out or anything like that u can pm me, always here to talk :)

 

[dysthym1a]

I completely understand. I have a loving family, including the cutest cat in the whole world so I can't bear the thought of leaving them all behind if I ctb. I wish it was easy to detach myself from people so it would be easier to leave this world… but unfortunately that's not how things work.

Your username breaks my heart :( I really feel for you.

I wish I had someone to help me or just to talk to maybe. I have so much that I want to say but I can't talk to people because it will annoy them to constantly hear about suicide.

I get that. That's why I turn to these sorta sites because of that. I tried venting to my only few friends before but I just felt bad imposing those burdens on them. You've always got us if you want to let it all out.

 

[idonthaveanother]

I think some people in my life know that it may be coming. That fact doesn't make doing it any easier, at least when it comes to SI. I think that's the part that will be difficult to overcome; the innate SI. Differently than yourself, I actually think a lot of people will be better off without me. So that's not the part that I'm scared of. I'm fearful of the action and possibly failing that action.

 

[hindsight_free]

I feel so guilty about what I will put her through. It's like I'm stuck between two places. I am causing her suffering by staying alive but I will also cause her suffering by dying. I can't think straight right now I feel really sad. I wish I had someone to help me or just to talk to maybe. I have so much that I want to say but I can't talk to people because it will annoy them to constantly hear about suicide. I really really wish I was not born into this family and that I was an orphan.

Being an orphan. is not a pleasant experience. But. I empathize with your situation about your mom. Hope you find your answers soon enough.