Apart from experiencing a lifetime of mental illness and feeling numb and empty, another reason I want to CTB is that I'm so touch deprived. I hope this doesn't sound narcissistic, but I don't think I'm that bad looking. I'm just too disconnected from everyone. I go to sleep every night cuddling my cat because I wish I had someone beside me. I remember when I was in the psych ward a couple of years ago, I would deliberately act up so the staff would have to touch me. I can't believe how crazy and stupid that sounds. I hate living like this :(
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Crematoryy
Autophagic Loneliness
- Feb 12, 2025
- 284
I haven't even read your text and I already identify with it. I've been writing about this in this forum for years. Congratulations on sharing the same solitude. Just as the human body needs thermal warmth, there is also a psychological need for neuroreceptive tactile stimulation.
Thank you so much. Yeah, I've read quite a bit about that. I'm also a third year psych major haha. I suppose it's just a difficult emptiness to sit with. I appreciate your response!
Crematoryy
Autophagic Loneliness
- Feb 12, 2025
- 284
For me, loneliness is not simply a feeling of discomfort or a persistent melancholy. It is pain, it is blood, it is cruelty. Because the same mechanisms of physical pain are triggered, the same hormonal valves are released, by emotional damage. The absence of another human being is not a passive need, but an urgent need, just like hunger, thirst, or urination. The worst state of mind.
Welcome, cellmate. You've embarked on a journey of constant solitude that will only intensify with time.Similar threads
