Venting I’m so tired

[eatantz]

I've lost enjoyment in everything all my hobbies all my friends, I thought I could keep going but I'm done. I'm just rotting in my bed waiting for something to save me.

The person I think I love is cutting me off due to my suicidal thoughts and plans and that broke me because he was the only person I thought I could be honest with. He said "why can't you be normal?" It not my first time hearing that my mother has been yelling that to my face since I first got diagnosed with depression at 12, but hearing it from him was different.

I realise now that I am not worthy of love or happiness and I think I'm accepting it. If I fail my exams I'm going to ctb but if I make it I'll hold out for after uni. But due to my mental state I can barely focus on school work I even hate social media everything is boring and tiring, I only enjoy sleep.

This site is the only thing I haven't lost interest in and I'm grateful for all the advice people share on here.

 

[DogSandwich]

I'm so sorry. I completely understand. I can't remember the last time I felt enthusiastic about something, felt fulfilled, simply felt happy at all.

I will say, you are worthy of love and I love you.

 

[eatantz]

I'm so sorry. I completely understand. I can't remember the last time I felt enthusiastic about something, felt fulfilled, simply felt happy at all.

I will say, you are worthy of love and I love you.

Honestly the kindest thing anyone's ever said to me, thank you so much. Also this song is so beautiful.
I hope your life will be filled with peace and love