i'm so tired of not being real

[Tionally]

everytime I look in the mirror it doesn't feel like me. I know it's me. but it's doesn't feel like it. looking back at my old photos I also get the same feeling. I just feel so disconnected from who I am. everything around also doesn't feel real but not as much as I. I'm so tired of this depersonalization and derealization.
at this point I don't really care about what happens to me in the future because I'm so disconnected from who I am and from the reality of decisions.
not worrying about the future and my wellbeing isn't really great because it can lead to rash decisions since I only live in the moment and even in the moment I'm not connected to myself.

I'm so tired of this I just want to experience something normally. I think I even forgot how it was before. I miss feeling like myself and not questioning the reality around me. why can't I be like I was before?

 

[moron]

Hello out there, I feel the same way you do. I wish I could go back and experience life the way it used to feel, even just for one day. It might convince me that it's possible to feel that way about being alive again. Best wishes

 

[Olisop21.]

I've been a fake my whole life. Have no idea who I am.