Venting I'm so scared of the future

[FinalDawn]

I don't want to live to see the next US election. Everything's going bottoms up. I can't even legally use the fucking bathroom in my state anymore. I am so tired of people saying there's light at the end of the tunnel when in reality, things are just getting worse and worse and worse. It's less like a tunnel and more like a ship with a puncture in its hull, taking on more and more water. I'm not going to wait until we're all the way sunk to abandon ship.

Half of it is like, I can't even discuss these things because they're "political." Because as a trans person, my existence is political. I use the bathroom -- political. I go to the doctor -- political. I participate in any kind of sport-- political (even fucking CHESS, apparently). People like me are represented in TV shows in a positive light-- political. I wish I could just die so I don't have to worry about any of this shit anymore. I could say I wish I was born a girl, but actually I just wish I wasn't born at all.

 

[Frem]

I had the same fears conservatives would win in my country, I think I got a panic attack or two because of those fears too so I can understand it with US being a richest third world country. As far as my knowledge about US politics in the past goes no matter who will win they would do nearly the same moves about LGBT so you should be safe even with Trump. I know I sound cold but the best you can do is to save money and get a big and comfortable backpack. Remember that you can always go to a different state hoping some trans communities will help you and you could always try to go to Canada for half a year, then move to Europe if things would go south. If you want to stay in US than you can DIY hormones even if they will be semi banned. Also most transphobes could see you as one of the "good ones" if you pass or don't girlmode but I know how painful that feels. If you want to vent more I can read and respond to it later.
Oh and the world will get better thanks to activists and root movements, only question is when and will that be relevant for us or the future generations.

 

[FinalDawn]

I had the same fears conservatives would win in my country, I think I got a panic attack or two because of those fears too so I can understand it with US being a richest third world country. As far as my knowledge about US politics in the past goes no matter who will win they would do nearly the same moves about LGBT so you should be safe even with Trump. I know I sound cold but the best you can do is to save money and get a big and comfortable backpack. Remember that you can always go to a different state hoping some trans communities will help you and you could always try to go to Canada for half a year, then move to Europe if things would go south. If you want to stay in US than you can DIY hormones even if they will be semi banned. Also most transphobes could see you as one of the "good ones" if you pass or don't girlmode but I know how painful that feels. If you want to vent more I can read and respond to it later.
Oh and the world will get better thanks to activists and root movements, only question is when and will that be relevant for us or the future generations.

My dad always says I need to have perspective. I guess I get tunnel vision sometimes. At the very least I'm not living somewhere where I could get the death penalty just for existing, but it feels so horrible knowing that just four or five years ago, at least in my state, I had way more rights than I do now.

Yes I do pass, but I'm still scared I might be strip-searched at the women's bathrooms, since that's a thing they can do now, as outlined in the new law.

I have plans to move to Oregon (Dad's got family up there) but it'll be a while since both me and my girlfriend need to finish up our degrees, plus she's not so sure about it because she doesn't want to leave our friends behind.

 

[Frem]

It's difficult situation but it sounds like you are doing ok on the outside. The easiest solution would be to switch off news and just ignore the politics as much as possible. Ask your family to not watch them with you in the room and don't go anywhere near 4chan or twitter, unfollow people for now on tumblr etc etc. Trying to survive, heal mentally, getting a degree and working out where to life with your gf should be enough troubles not to worry about some terf politician being terf. OFC it won't fix anything but your mental health may improve in short term.
As for perspective think it's partially correct. You should have your own perspective but you also should be able to see things in other's people perspectives, also sometimes you need to acknowledge that your perspective is just wrong like if you wouldn't believe that bigfoots aren't 4D creatures that people sometimes see far away from urban centers.

 

[FinalDawn]

It's difficult situation but it sounds like you are doing ok on the outside. The easiest solution would be to switch off news and just ignore the politics as much as possible. Ask your family to not watch them with you in the room and don't go anywhere near 4chan or twitter, unfollow people for now on tumblr etc etc. Trying to survive, heal mentally, getting a degree and working out where to life with your gf should be enough troubles not to worry about some terf politician being terf. OFC it won't fix anything but your mental health may improve in short term.
As for perspective think it's partially correct. You should have your own perspective but you also should be able to see things in other's people perspectives, also sometimes you need to acknowledge that your perspective is just wrong like if you wouldn't believe that bigfoots aren't 4D creatures that people sometimes see far away from urban centers.

I've completely stopped using Reddit, and that's helped a lot (It wasn't easy, I deleted the app on my phone, then started using it on the computer, so I put a site blocker on there, and that's worked so far) I'm thinking I should do the same with YouTube.

I think I just need to stop being so fragile when it comes to things like this. I get so worked up, I don't know how to cope with it. It's so shitty especially since my suicidality seems to be doing nothing but hurting the people I love. It gets me thinking, like, at some point are they just going to get fed up with me? I'm like a drug addict, promising I'll get better, relapsing again. Are they going to break down and finally just get rid of me? I know my dad's probably sick of needing to convince me the world isn't ending every two seconds.

I just don't know if surviving the next 10 years or so is worth the effort. I don't think I'm strong enough to endure it.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Trump is going to win because Biden is a dementia patient and has done nothing in 4 yrs. Why can't someone younger run? GenX needs to boot out all boomers from politics.

 

[Frem]

I know my dad's probably sick of needing to convince me the world isn't ending every two seconds.

Just talk with him about it and explain your situation to him. Therapy may be helpful for you too so you could learn how to convince yourself in those situations. Unsubsribing politics and blocking them on YT is a good idea but idk about blocking the whole site, that would depend on how you use it and what are you watching but you know what you can do for now so good luck sticking to it. And remember that you will fail many, many times and it's normal, improvement lies in the ability to learn from those fails and in not giving up. I'm mentioning it in case someone haven't said it to you already or if you forget that in the moment.

GenX needs to boot out all boomers from politics.

Good luck, that's not gonna happen. If you want to change the world find a group of people and make/join some root movements or however they are called and do some activism, protests and educating. Also politicians are just performers so who cares if politician X or Y from one of the parties will win, what matters is the party and it's sponsors in US it a bit different due to you guys having only 2 parties so adapt the above.