Venting IM SO FUCKING TIRED

[falling_snow]

WHY?WHY?WHY??????

I can't get out of bed, I'm always tired, and everybody has to see me like some type of demigod that can grant all of their wishes.

YOU ARE NOT MY PRIORITY!!!! I DONT WANT TO HELP, I DONT WANT TO CURE OR HEAL, WHEN IM THE ONE THAT SHOULD BE TAKEN CARE OF!!!!

I just want to rest

 

[theboy]

i feel u

 

[JensenX]

I'm in the situation you want to be in; it is not as good as you think it might be... I get out of bed (with difficulty), nobody knows, nobody cares, nobody sees me, nobody hears me. I spend all day alone; no family, no friends; no phone calls, no messages; no social media. I can do anything I like - nobody to judge me or ask anything of me. It's a world of total isolation. I can CTB and no one would know or even discover my body until an advanced state of decomposition when the rent was overdue and the landlord decided to check.

I go out in public to buy groceries, then back home to my world of isolation. I think about it a lot and how I managed to get myself into this situation...that's a long story. I only have myself to blame, but it is what it is. The money is about to run out, so I need to make plans on how to exit (I'm also getting old now, at 65, and not so healthy with no medical insurance). I have little to lose as my life is 100% meaningless.