DarkerDragonSoul
Member
- Nov 15, 2024
- 6
So hey I guess. My first post one here beeing a rant is pretty weird but I'm sorry, I just need to get this off my chest. Read it if you like, or not. I don't know.
I'm M/21 and I've been misarble since I'm 13 y/o. I'm in bed all day doing nothing. I basicly never go out, just when I need to buy groceries.
My parents left me, because I dropped out of Highschool and couldn't get a job. They trew me out of the house on my 18th birthday and said to never contact them again, until I "grow up" and find a job.
I never had friends, everyone threated my like shit. People at school never talked to me because I was an outsider. I tried talking to some of them but all of them turned their back on me.
It always was like that. When I went to a rehabilitation clinic I go treated the same, even by people that also have depression. Like I just don't get it. It obviosly is a me problem because all of them understood each other perfectly and I was just the guy left out. They laughed together, told each other their struggels and even planed things they could do together in the evening. I tried to adapt and do the same thing. I made suggestions what we could do in the evening, tried to open up more and talk about my emotions but it didn't change how they treated me.
I just want to go. I can't do this anymore. I've been suffering basicaly all my life and there is just nobody that cares about me. Why should I keep going?
I was a lurker on here for quite some time now I made the decision to take my own life. I'm just suffering. Nothing will make it better. I tried getting better it never worked out.
Starting today I will accualy turn my thoughts of suicide to action. I will search for a method, get everything I need, and do it.
I want to end all the suffering. I just want to make it end.
There just is no place for me in this world.
I'm M/21 and I've been misarble since I'm 13 y/o. I'm in bed all day doing nothing. I basicly never go out, just when I need to buy groceries.
My parents left me, because I dropped out of Highschool and couldn't get a job. They trew me out of the house on my 18th birthday and said to never contact them again, until I "grow up" and find a job.
I never had friends, everyone threated my like shit. People at school never talked to me because I was an outsider. I tried talking to some of them but all of them turned their back on me.
It always was like that. When I went to a rehabilitation clinic I go treated the same, even by people that also have depression. Like I just don't get it. It obviosly is a me problem because all of them understood each other perfectly and I was just the guy left out. They laughed together, told each other their struggels and even planed things they could do together in the evening. I tried to adapt and do the same thing. I made suggestions what we could do in the evening, tried to open up more and talk about my emotions but it didn't change how they treated me.
I just want to go. I can't do this anymore. I've been suffering basicaly all my life and there is just nobody that cares about me. Why should I keep going?
I was a lurker on here for quite some time now I made the decision to take my own life. I'm just suffering. Nothing will make it better. I tried getting better it never worked out.
Starting today I will accualy turn my thoughts of suicide to action. I will search for a method, get everything I need, and do it.
I want to end all the suffering. I just want to make it end.
There just is no place for me in this world.
