Venting Im so exhausted of living

[shroomia]

I had a great day with my girlfriend today, yet at the end of the day I'm just so god damn tired of everything. No matter how good my day is it doesn't change the fact that I just can't handle life. I want to not feel exhausted by life and not to have this pain and suffering constantly in the back of my head. But it's always there. No matter how good the moment is I just can't continue to live like this any longer. My Gf talked a lot about future plans with me today and now I'm just wondering if I ever gonna achieve that. To have a future. To not feel the crushing weight of reality suffocating me. I feel like having a plan for the future is nice on paper. But I always feel that I won't achieve it in the end. I feel so tired of living and living more won't change that. No matter the circumstances. Something inside me is just broken and I've started to feel very bitter about it and life in general. That even if I have an amazing time and a wonderful weekend It won't give me back my will to live. I'm yearning for an escape that isn't there. A way out of everything that isn't me killing myself. But life just seemingly doesn't have that in store for me. And that makes me really angry. I'm currently staying at a mental clinic and I fear that if I get out of here I'll just be as miserable as before. Life is so unfair and in just exhausted of everything. I'm exhausted of trying, trapped in my suffering with no way out other than to kill myself. I put so much pressure on myself to get better but I don't see any way out. I'm so tired of fighting, so tired of trying.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering, I've personally always felt so tired, it's just so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this pain and suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the relief you search for.