Venting I'm so done

[BBY]

My mom is right. I'm too lazy for anything. All I'm really doing is existing. There is literally no point for me to stay.
Othets love to say that loved ones are a good reason to stay but I completely disagree. No matter how deeply I care for someone and try to create a bond I will forever care more about it than they do. I am disposable. My family is just exhausted from me. I'm a burden and I know it. Perhaps my death will be of more use than me alive.
Slitting my wrist is becoming more tempting by the day. I tried to distract myself from that thought because things seemed to be looking up. It was stupid of me to hope that. They're never gonna get better and I was just looking through rose tinted glasses.
Tonight might be the night honestly. Let's hope my box cutters are sharp enough (and that I don't have to double swipe bc it makes me feel ew)
This turned out longer than I thought,, ty for anyone that actually read all that

 

[BoneWeary57]

Bleeding to death, especially by slitting of wrists, is not only painful but is far from instant.

There are many good reasons to stay for people, doesn't always have to be a family or other loved one. So, is there anything else you hold on for? A pet? A hobby?

 

[BBY]

Bleeding to death, especially by slitting of wrists, is not only painful but is far from instant.

There are many good reasons to stay for people, doesn't always have to be a family or other loved one. So, is there anything else you hold on for? A pet? A hobby?

I hope I'll be able to power throught the pain

As for hobby I used to draw often and was kinda good at it but lately whenever I try to do it just ends up wrong. Anyhow if my life is going the direction it is now I probably won't be able to do it in the future.