Venting I'm slipping up.

[yowai]

I fucked up my sleeping habits so bad. Wake up and go to bed at different time every day, doesn't matter if it's am or pm, either sleep for 12 hours straight or stay awake for 24 h. Sometimes when I'm waking up I can still remember what I was dreaming about and go back to continue the story because at least that way I'm experiencing something interesting. Thought I'd fix my habits with drugs and of course I'm losing control again and soon people around me will catch up if I don't get my shit together :(

 

[avalon_]

Thought I'd fix my habits with drugs

No one told you this was a bad idea? What kind of drugs are you taking atm if you don't me asking?

 

[yowai]

No one told you this was a bad idea? What kind of drugs are you taking atm if you don't me asking?

I know it was a bad idea, street amphetamine and weed, both were my drugs of choice before. I turned to speed because I couldn't stand not having energy to do basic things anymore, my life was shit already so why not at least feel good while its shit. I browsed recovery subreddits every day and have supportive partner but it happened and now if I quit I'll be a zombie again. I relapsed after visiting a different psychiatrist for my hypersomnia and spending a lot of money for 15 minutes of counseling only to get another ssri and more sleeping meds wtf.

 

[avalon_]

I know it was a bad idea, street amphetamine and weed, both were my drugs of choice before. I turned to speed because I couldn't stand not having energy to do basic things anymore, my life was shit already so why not at least feel good while its shit. I browsed recovery subreddits every day and have supportive partner but it happened and now if I quit I'll be a zombie again. I relapsed after visiting a different psychiatrist for my hypersomnia and spending a lot of money for 15 minutes of counseling only to get another ssri and more sleeping meds wtf.

That's not a good position to be in, I hope you can maneuver your way out of this somehow. Can't be of any help here because I have little to no experience with drugs, sorry.