Venting I'm scared of getting arrested for possible fraud and need to kill myself before it happens

[Polecat]

I've basically guaranteed being sued into oblivion and/or actually arrested for completely different reasons and I'm scared

I spend every day sick with worry about what bad thing will come out about me first and what agency will take me down, I don't even want to wait until they happen I just need to kill myself now. I applied to a college as a first-year becauee I didn't want to transfer any of my CC credits because I get shit grades because I'm a fucking failure of a student come to find out that's academic dishonesty and people have been sued for hundreds of thousands of dollars for much more understandable circumstances than mine. I applied to a government position without disclosing I'm transgender because I changed my name long before ever applying to a job or getting myblicense but that's still falsifying my identity and something bad is about to happen to me. All I want to do is work in nature and that's not fucking possible because I'm too retarded to ever be a real scientist and my existence is a crime against God so I can't even work as a forester for any park in the country. I can't even get promoted out of my part time movie theater job because my boss said I'm not smart enough to be valuable to them as a supervisor. I don't think anybody has seen me as a real person ever since I graduated high school and I think it's because I'm really not. I go to bed every day praying that I won't wake up the following moening and cut myself when I do. I'm too chickenshit to dig my knife in deep enough to just bleed to death and I don't know where to order SN. My cat doesn't even fucking like me anymore because I spend all my time at work or at school instead of taking care of him when I know damn well I'll never be able to progress either academically or in the workforce for as long as I live. I wish everybody would forget I existed for three weeks so I can just lock myself in my room and starve. Please please tellbme if any of you are like me I don't want to be alone I'm so scared of how everybody in real life is so normal I only know 2 people since I graduated who are sick too I wish I could be the same as everybody else

 

[fadedghost]

I've basically guaranteed being sued into oblivion and/or actually arrested for completely different reasons and I'm scared

I spend every day sick with worry about what bad thing will come out about me first and what agency will take me down, I don't even want to wait until they happen I just need to kill myself now. I applied to a college as a first-year becauee I didn't want to transfer any of my CC credits because I get shit grades because I'm a fucking failure of a student come to find out that's academic dishonesty and people have been sued for hundreds of thousands of dollars for much more understandable circumstances than mine. I applied to a government position without disclosing I'm transgender because I changed my name long before ever applying to a job or getting myblicense but that's still falsifying my identity and something bad is about to happen to me. All I want to do is work in nature and that's not fucking possible because I'm too retarded to ever be a real scientist and my existence is a crime against God so I can't even work as a forester for any park in the country. I can't even get promoted out of my part time movie theater job because my boss said I'm not smart enough to be valuable to them as a supervisor. I don't think anybody has seen me as a real person ever since I graduated high school and I think it's because I'm really not. I go to bed every day praying that I won't wake up the following moening and cut myself when I do. I'm too chickenshit to dig my knife in deep enough to just bleed to death and I don't know where to order SN. My cat doesn't even fucking like me anymore because I spend all my time at work or at school instead of taking care of him when I know damn well I'll never be able to progress either academically or in the workforce for as long as I live. I wish everybody would forget I existed for three weeks so I can just lock myself in my room and starve. Please please tellbme if any of you are like me I don't want to be alone I'm so scared of how everybody in real life is so normal I only know 2 people since I graduated who are sick too I wish I could be the same as everybody else

First:

Not transferring over prior credits could possibly be academic dishonesty according to your school's guide, but it's not fraud.

Fraud consists of some deceitful practice or willful device, resorted to with intent to deprive another of his right, or in some manner to do the person an injury. As distinguished from negligence, it is always positive, intentional.

You didn't fail to transfer the credits over for the specific purpose of harming the school. This is CLEARLY not fraud, you would never be arrested for it. If you were, you would get bail and could always end your life on bail while awaiting a trial, but no one would ever charge fraud over that, ever. Violating an internal school policy is not the same as the legal definition of fraud.


Second:

I don't think this is falsifying your identity, especially if you used your legal name and birthrate. It seems like it means you didn't fill out the form according to your sex at birth. Forms should be more specific. If they want sex at birth, they should say so. If they want sex now, they should say so. If they don't specify, no one should care about the error.

All the new Trump anti-trans-hysteria is new with his administration. You couldn't have known back then when you applied there would be some hysterical idiotic right wing anti-trans administration trying to make life hell for trans people. The government in the USA has randomly arbitrarily fired trans and LGBT people in government positions, but that has happened much more often in the FBI and military and not just random government positions for no reason. If you just applied to the government position, and didn't get the job, they hadn't given you anything of value, and it's not attempted fraud because you didn't do it for the purposes of deception. The movie theater could fire you based on this possibly, but with at will employment they can usually fire you for made up performance reasons at any time.

But the anti-trans hysteria means you should spend less, and save more, have a cash savings on hand, and possibly even see about ways to save much more (ie, a roommate) because the job situation is bleak out there right now. It makes sense to be careful with spending.

Regarding your ID not matching your biological at birth sex, it's up to you if you change it. You can always say they made a typo or error. Things like that happen. It would be very hard to prove willful deception, and even if they tried to charge you with a crime, the penalties are low and AS LONG AS YOU DON'T TALK TO THE POLICE any decent lawyer will be able to get you out of a charge like that. Unless you admit intent to deceive, it's very hard to prove that the error was your error and done intentionally.

Your risk of arrest or legal problems is extremely low unless something else is going on (ie, you are protesting, you are committing real crimes, like shop lifting, or you are also an immigrant).

You can also always go back to the DMV, say they made an error, bring your birth certificate, and have them reissue a new id. But that's a personal choice, and once Trump is out of office, things may revert to the way they were. Doing this also risks alerting the DMV that there was a problem to begin with and could cause problems when otherwise there may be none. Sometimes doing nothing is safer.

Third:

All I want to do is work in nature and that's not fucking possible because I'm too retarded to ever be a real scientist and my existence is a crime against God so I can't even work as a forester for any park in the country. I can't even get promoted out of my part time movie theater job because my boss said I'm not smart enough to be valuable to them as a supervisor. I don't think anybody has seen me as a real person ever since I graduated high school and I think it's because I'm really not. I go to bed every day praying that I won't wake up the following moening and cut myself when I do. I'm too chickenshit to dig my knife in deep enough to just bleed to death and I don't know where to order SN. My cat doesn't even fucking like me anymore because I spend all my time at work or at school instead of taking care of him when I know damn well I'll never be able to progress either academically or in the workforce for as long as I live. I wish everybody would forget I existed for three weeks so I can just lock myself in my room and starve. Please please tellbme if any of you are like me I don't want to be alone I'm so scared of how everybody in real life is so normal I only know 2 people since I graduated who are sick too I wish I could be the same as everybody else

This isn't something I can speak to. I don't believe in gods or god or religion. I can't really do anything about your movie theater position, but just look for a different job where you can get promoted if they won't help you move up. This is a signal to you that the movie theater position will never offer increases in training or skills, so look elsewhere, for more pay and more responsibilities.

Regarding the SN and cutting and your cat, I don't know what to tell you. Regarding academics and work force and progressing, this isn't the end all be all.

Regarding the lonliness, if you are in a trans-unfriendly area, like the American south, I would suggest saving up and moving. There are areas of the country that love and celebrate trans people. There are successful trans people out there, there are trans clubs where trans people hang out, you may just be living in the wrong area.

 

[In4rope]

Bro u didn't commit fraud. Even if they sentence u ul get some shity suspended sentence. Don't worry so much

 

[EmptyBottle]

As for the cat, even after some time, Ravi returns to me... though if u need assistance with taking care of the cat, let someone u trust know (or seek trusted people?), idk the situation to make a deeper comment tho.

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

Re: College -- if the grades from the community college were not passing grades, the new college likely wouldn't have accepted a transfer of credits anyway. I of course can't speak to the rules of the specific university, but I also can't see them caring much to be honest; not transferring your credits just means that you don't get skip those particular classes (which, again, if your grades were bad, they'd probably want you to retake those anyway).

As for the gender, it's likely a non-issue that'll sort itself out later in the hiring process. I also use a different first name socially than I do legally -- I apply for the job and interview with my chosen name, and when I get hired, that's when I disclose, while handing over my ID and SS card and whatnot, "Oh btw for tax/background check purposes, my legal name is _____." It's never been an actual issue.

Also cats are assholes. I say that affectionately, as I have a cat, but they're known to be aloof and moody. Just love on him when you can and give him a good life.

That you feel this guilty about perceived wrongdoings suggests that you're a good person who thinks deeply, and that can bring you further than you may think in life.

(and even if you don't succeed academically, my husband flunked out of college but now makes more money than I do with a Bachelor's degree. Academia isn't the end all be all of success. And neither is employment, although there are resources for assistance with getting a job if needed).