bunintherug
husk of a girl
- Jan 1, 2024
- 25
i have DID. a couple days ago, we had all decided, and we were all ready. the relief of switching and not having my opinion on ctb change was so relieving, there's always someone who disagrees.
my partner spent hours trying to convince me to live, and now one of us changed our mind. they want to stick around and see how everything plays out. they want to watch the things that are causing the rest of us so much pain, because they just want to see the fucking drama.
one of us disagreeing won't stop us from attempting, obviously. but i'm so scared they're going to front and shut the whole thing down. no matter how long it's been before they fronted. they were talking about getting institutionalized last night, so we can get better. but i've been into the hospital over a dozen times since i was 11. i'm not going to get better without years of work in therapy, and it's not fair to force us all to do that work because they want to get better. i don't want to keep fighting to make my life better, i'm fucking tired.
my partner spent hours trying to convince me to live, and now one of us changed our mind. they want to stick around and see how everything plays out. they want to watch the things that are causing the rest of us so much pain, because they just want to see the fucking drama.
one of us disagreeing won't stop us from attempting, obviously. but i'm so scared they're going to front and shut the whole thing down. no matter how long it's been before they fronted. they were talking about getting institutionalized last night, so we can get better. but i've been into the hospital over a dozen times since i was 11. i'm not going to get better without years of work in therapy, and it's not fair to force us all to do that work because they want to get better. i don't want to keep fighting to make my life better, i'm fucking tired.
