Venting I'm really starting to think that things won't end well for me

[Terios]

I really don't want to die and believe there's still so much for me to live for and enjoy, but I don't think the pain that's eating away at me will ever let me do that. I've tried to recover and convince myself that I can pull through no matter what happens but the mental fortitude it take for me to do that just temporarily ends up just making me conpletely tired and back to square one eventually; how is anyone supposed to live their whole life fighting an uphill battle with their own mind every single day?

At this point I do not think I would be able to get over what's killing me inside, if the reality I'm living itself doesn't change (and I'm trying my hardest to do that ) then I genuinely don't think I'll end up making it.

 

[Worndown]

There are ways to ease this. Have you investigated them? None are perfect, but giving them a try cannot be worse at this point.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Ctb does seem inevitable for me as well. I just really have a hard time seeing a future for myself that I'd actually want

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot and it must be really tiring what you go through, existence certainly is too cruel. But anyway I wish you the best.