L0LA
Member
- Sep 26, 2023
- 5
I'm planning to do it on or before august. As long as I'm no longer alive on the day of the death anniversary of my boyfriend. It will be his first year. Funny story actually, he was a member here. He used SN. I didn't know what he was going through deep inside. We thought he was just having a headache everyday and that his shoulders and upper body were always sore. We tried every doctor. He even undergone PT for months. We never even thought that it was symptoms of anxiety. Weeks before he died, he finally told me that he's been suffering with depression and anxiety for years. He also had a hard time with socializing. He was always quiet and don't know what to say to me. But I still love him and I'll always will. I had such a shitty life before I met him. We never had time, to help him, to try harder in finding a solution and be there for him. On the letter that he left me, he said that I kept him here longer than he had planned. You know what's more funny? I was also in the state that he was in before we met. He gave me a reason to stay. He made me wanna live again. I miss him so much it hurts. Everyday is a constant battle. It's so lonely pretending to be strong for your family. I just wanna be with him again. I think about jumping every single day. But I might do SN too. I'm still finding a source where I can buy here. Saying thank you to whoever reads this.
I hope and I really hope it gets better for you, guys. Somehow, I guess. Because it never did to me.
I hope and I really hope it gets better for you, guys. Somehow, I guess. Because it never did to me.
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