Story I'm not sure if therapy is benefificial in my situation (debilitating chronic illness)

[sickboy55]

I know I have to discuss this with my therapist, just want to share my thoughts.

Since getting sick 2 years ago (Lyme disease and cervical instability resulting from that), I've been in treatment with a psychiatrist with whom I tried several antidepressants which don't really improve my mood, but the current one (trazodone) at least helps me sleep better. Additionally, I wanted to try therapy with a psychologist. The first lady was somewhat helpful but insisted on me being not actually sick, just overreacting so I looked for someone else. The second lady was straight-up dumb so I didn't go back for a second time. I found the third one in June of last year.

She has experience with chronically and terminally ill patients so she at least understands my struggle. She's also good at pointing out situations where I'm not at fault but my environment is. But other than that, I'm not seeing any benefits.

• The most important problem is, I'm not willing to accept my current condition. I either find a cure/effective symptom management within 1-2 years or I don't want to live anymore, as I have 20+ symptoms causing me pain and discomfort. I feel like I'm not willing to reconsider my viewpoint on that.
• She often tells that she thinks most illnesses have stress/anxiety/depression as a cause. It comes from her experience of talking with patients. I don't agree with that. Yes, stress/mental issues have a negative effect on health but it's not enough to cause a debiliating chronic illness. I think her observation comes from the fact that most people experience some kind of trauma, longer period of stress, misfortune or difficulty during their lifetime. If that directly resulted in illness, everyone above the age of 30 would be sick. Last time, she even mentioned stress leading to bodily symptoms without physiological abnormalities. I was a bit furious as we know I have abnormal lab and imaging results.
• She constantly tells things I already know as I have read about it online for free (a lot): meditation, massage, acupuncture, buddhist philosophy, getting used to a new normal, moving elsewhere, self-help groups etc. These things could be a solution if I was having mild to medarate pain in one body part but don't bring much as I completely had to give up my life because of the severity of my illness. I have tried.
• Yes, some less good things happened to me in my childhood but talking about it doesn't help me feel any better. It's not like I was raped, abandoned, neglected or anything that serious.
• She suggested going to an inpatient psychiatric program which would be a torture in my condition.

Okay, at least someone listens to me. But it's too expensive for just that. And our sessions often just exhaust me and I don't feel any better.

 

[Hotsackage]

Is there any time you feel relaxed?

 

[sickboy55]

Is there any time you feel relaxed?

Rarely, when I get tired, calm down a bit and listen to a podcast or a documentary in bed

 

[realname]

Some of my old therapists have been so unhelpful and even harmful at times.. I often feel like a terminal diagnoses would be better as then medical aid in dying would be more of an option. But as society's view of disabled people is getting worse , I could understand your 1-2 year viewpoint being unshakable.

All the best to you even tho it all sucks and will continue to suck..

Like the wind I guess, I hope it whisks me away in 2-3 years or so bc the conditions are unlivable and worsening.

 

[Hotsackage]

Yes apparently we just use the system, and live on the streets as a choice, I mean some do, most do not. Morons

 

[searchingforpeace]

I am literally in the exact same situation except I have gone through it for 9 years we should trade contact info I am at my wits end with

 

[hopeless-believer]

Sorry to hear, it's really challenging to have chronic illness caused by disease/illness. It can feel like 'you' are not you, without the enjoyment of living how you once lived, and the ability to do things without pain or discomfort.

I can empathise with you somewhat, with my own health conditions where, after so long I don't know a life without pain and difficulty, but I do hope you find something that works for your Lymes. One of the most bizarre cures are from the sting of killer bees... It's unlikely your therapist ever mentioned that.

Anyways, I do hope you find a way to adapt and manage to garner some comfort on here and at home. Therapy can be challenging when you don't feel understood, often, it is only through experience we can truly come to understand another's pain, and again, each person is uniquely different. I do hope you get the help you deserve.

 

[sickboy55]

Sorry to hear, it's really challenging to have chronic illness caused by disease/illness. It can feel like 'you' are not you, without the enjoyment of living how you once lived, and the ability to do things without pain or discomfort.

I can empathise with you somewhat, with my own health conditions where, after so long I don't know a life without pain and difficulty, but I do hope you find something that works for your Lymes. One of the most bizarre cures are from the sting of killer bees... It's unlikely your therapist ever mentioned that.

Anyways, I do hope you find a way to adapt and manage to garner some comfort on here and at home. Therapy can be challenging when you don't feel understood, often, it is only through experience we can truly come to understand another's pain, and again, each person is uniquely different. I do hope you get the help you deserve.

Thank you, I've already heard of bee venom therapy but nobody offers that near me. Anyways, I'm not even sure that would work for me if I already have cervical instbility...

 

[wiggy]

As someone who is terminally ill, the absolute last thing I'd want is to see a therapist. Time is limited enough as it is, the last thing I want is to do is dedicate several hours a week on a treatment whose efficacy is extremely tenuous.
This is to speak nothing of the huge can of worms that are antidepressant protocols - again, my personal life expectancy is likely a few years, so if I have a bad response there might literally not be enough time to return to baseline even if I ride things out all the way to my natural death. That isn't even the plan though, as with my condition, my natural death would be preceded by a sharp decline in my physical state, at which point I don't plan to hang around.
Reality is what it is, if my directive were simply to have an irrationally positive mental experience despite the facts, I'd just be blasting opioids from sunrise to sundown.
Of course, this is all just my own views relating to my personal predicament. By no means do I presume to advise you on how to proceed with your own situation, as all factors involved are highly individual.

 

[hopeless-believer]

Thank you, I've already heard of bee venom therapy but nobody offers that near me. Anyways, I'm not even sure that would work for me if I already have cervical instbility...

Just take a little time and see maybe if things begin to change at all for you health-wise possibly? This is just to say that I've seen a wide variety of cases over the years through my work, each with their own trajectory.

I do have hope for you. It's a lot to take in and alot to deal with, I know. I am wishing you my sincerest best.

 

[aiyuxhan]

I have chronic illnesses with no cures and chronic pain 24/7. That's the the reason I want to ctb. :( I don't want to be in pain and suffering anymore

 

[grapevoid]

Excuse my ignorance but did she explain what she means about the stress etc being a "cause"? I've never heard such a thing, in situations like yours where you obviously have an illness? I know mental health seriously negatively impacts physical health and creates a lot of physical symptoms, I can understand mental health worsening your symptoms or making your physical pain worse but I'm confused how it could "cause" your illness in and of itself?
Also, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Talk therapy isn't useful for everyone, in fact studies have found more than 10% of people have no change or even worsening mental health from talk therapy. Maybe it's just not for you?

 

[sickboy55]

Excuse my ignorance but did she explain what she means about the stress etc being a "cause"? I've never heard such a thing, in situations like yours where you obviously have an illness? I know mental health seriously negatively impacts physical health and creates a lot of physical symptoms, I can understand mental health worsening your symptoms or making your physical pain worse but I'm confused how it could "cause" your illness in and of itself?
Also, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Talk therapy isn't useful for everyone, in fact studies have found more than 10% of people have no change or even worsening mental health from talk therapy. Maybe it's just not for you?

I didn't understand it very well but she thinks mental wellness is the main factor in people's physical health, and chronic stress weakens the nervous and the immune system, causes muscle tension etc. that leads to illness. I agree that stress is bad for your health but don't think it can ruin someone so fast as it happened to me.