Venting I'm not in love with my sadness — why do people think that?

[whybother2002]

I'm not suicidal by principle. I just hate life. Every day I wake up and wish really hard that it got better. I want to be happy, to be loved, to have a peaceful life.

I feel like people think we are in a goth club and that we keep romanticizing our deaths all day.

 

[starboy2k]

it really doesnt matter why you are suicidal to normies. they will box you in with the rest of us because its easy for them to do that. they dont really care, until either your suicidality inconveniences them or when you finally end up in a casket.

 

[vitbar]

Love isn't a good word for it. I don't know what is. I can't speak for you. For me I have this tendency towards self destruction. It's almost irresistible, alluring, attractive. I don't love it, I hate it, and I hate myself. In modern speak I have a toxic and abusive relationship with myself. I'm afraid to end this relationship, even kind of comfortable. It's what I know. I am attached. Love is too sweet a word for it.

That's me at some of my worst moments. The depression narrows my view of any other way. It can look like love or obsession from the outside I suppose.