Venting I'm not healing

[SanguineShark]

I'm in daily intensive group therapy for almost 2 months now, and I'm supposed to be getting better, I mean it's a lot of therapy after all..
But I'm not.
I can't pinpoint a single thing this therapy might have been helpful with so far, and it's not that the therapy itself is objectively bad, I think I'm just a lost cause.
I mean, I knew I am a lost cause for years, but I wanted to give this thing a try, but all it did was distance me from my friends because I'm too exhausted to talk to them as much as I used to.
I don't have anyone in my life that I'd feel a close connection with, where we care about each other a lot.
No one loves me, not in a way that matters.
I hate this life and I wish I could end it already, I keep getting to this point, I think it's just impossible. I've been abused all my life by every single person in my family, many of my friends and even during all my school years.
Now I'm just a pathetic loser of an adult, who's actually just an unhealed, crying child.

 

[SanguineShark]

Trying things like group therapy so relentlessly just let's you see that you're trying and hopefully allows others to as well. I can definitely relate to feeling like I don't have a close connection to people anymore and it's not their fault or lack of trying either.
At this rate you'll be alive to see season 2 of Arcane.

that's very sweet, thank you

 

[thealteredmind]

that's a lot of therapy damn. would you give it 6 months? could you do that? that's like the minimum time until benefits appear.

 

[SanguineShark]

that's a lot of therapy damn. would you give it 6 months? could you do that? that's like the minimum time until benefits appear.

it only lasts 3 months, but I plan to continue with individual therapy after that, probably DBT

 

[LunarLight]

I'm sorry therapy doesn't seem to work. What else have you tried?

 

[divinemistress36]

it only lasts 3 months, but I plan to continue with individual therapy after that, probably DBT

I hear DBT is most effective for bpd

 

[SanguineShark]

I'm sorry therapy doesn't seem to work. What else have you tried?

I'd say individual therapy helped me more

I'm sorry therapy doesn't seem to work. What else have you tried?

also I recognize the album that you have on your pfp!

I hear DBT is most effective for bpd

yeah, I have bpd! that's why I thought about it

 

[LunarLight]

I'd say individual therapy helped me more

also I recognize the album that you have on your pfp!

Then I hope you'll have individual therapy soon enough.

Haha thanks, I was waiting for someone to recognize it! Fantastic album, isn't it?

 

[SanguineShark]

Then I hope you'll have individual therapy soon enough.

Haha thanks, I was waiting for someone to recognize it! Fantastic album, isn't it?

thanks!
My favorite song is "hey moon" ^^

 

[Forveleth]

I saw a recent YouTube short by "Dr. K" aka HealthyGamerGG talking about how we can prescribe all of the medications we want and give all of the therapy we can but if we don't change a person's like circumstances, it's all for nothing. I 100% agree with this. I spent two years in therapy and on meds and realized it doesn't matter as the people surrounding me in my everyday life were bringing me down and until I booted them from my life, nothing would change.

 

[LunarLight]

thanks!
My favorite song is "hey moon" ^^

Yeah, it's a beautiful song.
I think my favorite one is "Streetlight". Special mention to the live version on KEXP. It's so sad his brother, who played bass for him live, died. John no longer uses real instruments for his live performances now.

 

[DyingToDie123]

I hear you on this. I did 6 weeks of PHP and 9 weeks of IOP and 2 months of residential and it did nothing for me. I think it works for some people, just not me. The whole coping skills thing I find kinda silly because it doesn't change circumstances. Idk. I'm sorry you're struggling OP.

 

[SanguineShark]

I saw a recent YouTube short by "Dr. K" aka HealthyGamerGG talking about how we can prescribe all of the medications we want and give all of the therapy we can but if we don't change a person's like circumstances, it's all for nothing. I 100% agree with this. I spent two years in therapy and on meds and realized it doesn't matter as the people surrounding me in my everyday life were bringing me down and until I booted them from my life, nothing would change.

that's true, I'm still abused and don't have a way to escape

 

[willitpass]

You name a therapy program I've tried it. Same with medications. I've spent 2 years combined inpatient. Even tried ECT. None of it ever helped me and I now have nothing left to try. I know how hopeless it feels. I hope you find some benefit from something and are able to find peace.

 

[theboy]

me 2. pm if you want

 

[SanguineShark]

You name a therapy program I've tried it. Same with medications. I've spent 2 years combined inpatient. Even tried ECT. None of it ever helped me and I now have nothing left to try. I know how hopeless it feels. I hope you find some benefit from something and are able to find peace.

thank you, I'm sorry you have to suffer like this