Venting im just so exhausted

[suchaprettygard3n]

everytime i think it's getting at least a little bit better it just all goes downhill again. i can feel myself everyday getting more and more tired. mentally, physically, in any way really. im just so exhausted.

its like im going in a constant cycle again and again. it always starts the same:
i start to feel a bit better (like a sort of sense of ease)
then i go into full "i feel fucking great everythings fine!" (i go out, see friends, my eating and sleep is all good)
that starts to die down
then the numbness comes.(just this sinking empty feeling that just lingers constantly) it also feels like my brain is getting louder and louder and i, myself, start become quieter. more recluse, not texting people back, not getting out of bed, not eating etc.
the anger kind of comes after that. im just mad at everything. at myself, my friends, the world etc. its like a burning inside. im just so restless and on edge (this is when my sleep is the worst as well)
then it just gets lower and lower till im back in that dark place again and all i want to do is sleep (forever)
rinse and repeat

i cant keep doing this. i really cant.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really tiring what you are going through, it's dreadful how there's so much suffering. But anyway I wish you the best, I understand why you'd feel exhausted of it all.