I'm in panic mode. I ruined my SN and now it looks impossible to get.

[GoldenRibs]

I have had SN for a couple of years (along with Tagamet and Meto). That's everything I need. having seen a thread on here I realised my SN is almost certainly fucked. When I got it a couple of years ago I opened it. I didn't realise that it was supposed to be sealed like a vacuum. I thought people meant to just always close it up and not leave it in open air. When I first got it it was lumpy I THINK. I almost always kept it sealed away except a rare occasion. I can't say what it is like now vs before that much. But, regardless, having seen someone point it out that it isn't supposed to be clumpy and hard I realise mine is both. It's very hard. Last week I did a practice run and took some out. I had to mash at it very firmly with a spoon for it break up, then dissolved that in water. Then this week I was going to be ready. I've felt this is my time as I'm in a very difficult and unfixable place. I'm such an idiot.

Now, I see it is virtually impossible to get. It's been banned for people here in Ireland (and probably all of EU and UK) and is only for companies or researchers. And here, people can no longer share sources. I'm totally fucked and in panic mode. Mine is hard as a rock and there is no way to get more. I'm distraught.

I can't believe this guys.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I understand why you would be devastated. I wish we lived in a society where our right to die is respected and then we could just exit peacefully at a time of our own choosing. I am trapped in this world as suicide is so difficult. I am so tired of living. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[sivvie]

Don't get rid of it yet. Being clumpy or hard has nothing to do with how pure it is. SN naturally just clumps up especially without anti-caking agents. It doesn't HAVE to be vacuum sealed, most ones you can get aren't.

 

[GoldenRibs]

Don't get rid of it yet. Being clumpy or hard has nothing to do with how pure it is. SN naturally just clumps up especially without anti-caking agents. It doesn't HAVE to be vacuum sealed, most ones you can get aren't.

I heard others say that it might clump a little but a little shake will loosen it up or tapping it or stuff. With mine it's very solid and needs to be scraped at and mashed to turn it into something more powdery and get it out of the bottle. Shaking the bottle as hard as you can and nothing really moves. I shouldnt have opened it.

 

[Huntfish34]

I believe it will still be fine but who knows. I wish you the best.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

you should be aware of the blood test. when SN touches real blood, the blood has to turn its color to dark brown. if it turns dark brown, your SN is good.
has to be real blood though. not steak or meat juice (that's not real blood, that's just water with a protein that gives the color). the easiest way to get blood is probably to make a small cut on some part of your body that is not likely to cause any harm or to damage you. you can research what the best body part is for that purpose. then put pure SN (with no water) in contact with the blood, then see if the blood turns dark brown.

 

[Lostandlooking]

You could also try the aquarium test kit.

Thread 'Testing your SN using an aquarium testing kit (rough version)'
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-an-aquarium-testing-kit-rough-version.18188/

Hoping it's still good, I don't think it's a sure thing that it's gone bad.

 

[Famous Last Words]

you should be aware of the blood test. when SN touches real blood, the blood has to turn its color to dark brown. if it turns dark brown, your SN is good.
has to be real blood though. not steak or meat juice (that's not real blood, that's just water with a protein that gives the color). the easiest way to get blood is probably to make a small cut on some part of your body that is not likely to cause any harm or to damage you. you can research what the best body part is for that purpose. then put pure SN (with no water) in contact with the blood, then see if the blood turns dark brown.

I just stuck a small pin in my finger. A couple of drops is all you need. I put it on a white plate and even with a small amount, it instantly absorbed and turned dark brown. Shame I had to throw it away because I was too cowardly to take it.