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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

The only place that allows negative feelings.
Aug 7, 2022
1,515
I woke up in pain all over, again, today it made me whimper like a child, desperate to partial hang myself right away... I'd drink sn if I had it...

My brain is on fire from being hit by a car, poison in my home, assault... So many traumas...

This site is the only place that welcomed me & let me speak freely about all the chaos & torment in my head & heart.

I'm sincerely sorry for hurting anyone, for being stupid, and even for people missunderstanding me.

I assure you... I know what torture feels like... I'm a misanthrope... But I love all of you... Because we're literally at the end... Deep in the darkest abyss... all together... all the same... already in more agony than we can bear... there is no point to add more... And I just want to hug and cry...

I just want to die... I'm sorry...

Please don't send me hate pm to get off this site anymore... I have no one else... I just want to put hatred aside and love one last time... Please help me die... I'm so scared and alone... Please forgive me...
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,663
I'm sorry you are suffering so much. Life and people can be so cruel.
 
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leeloosnow

leeloosnow

Warlock
Aug 28, 2022
725
i thought you had good things to say, and i'm sorry that you;re hurting. big hugs.
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

The only place that allows negative feelings.
Aug 7, 2022
1,515
I'm sorry you are suffering so much. Life and people can be so cruel.
Thank you... I ruined my life by trying the wrong cleaner mix... I really am stupid... So I'm sure I hurt people... But I sincerely never meant to...
i thought you had good things to say, and i'm sorry that you;re hurting. big hugs.
Thank you... I try to validate people because it's my denied wish to be validated... To try to understand people and have compassion instead to condemn them with hatred... I think that made people angry... I was even reproached loving someone they didn't like... Mocked for it... When I'm still shaken by him leaving the site...

Did someone else receive hate pm bullying them off ss?

Thank you for praising my posts... It means a lot. Sometimes I say crap, but I hope sometimes I comfort people... I try...
 
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makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,029
Some of us shouldn't be bullied, because after we brush our teeth, we sharpen our tongues. Just for such people.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,663
Thank you... I ruined my life by trying the wrong cleaner mix... I really am stupid... So I'm sure I hurt people... But I sincerely never meant to...

Thank you... I try to validate people because it's my denied wish to be validated... To try to understand people and have compassion instead to condemn them with hatred... I think that made people angry... I was even reproached loving someone they didn't like... Mocked for it... When I'm still shaken by him leaving the site...

Did someone else receive hate pm bullying them off ss?

Thank you for praising my posts... It means a lot. Sometimes I say crap, but I hope sometimes I comfort people... I try...
Not stupid- just a horrible mistake by the sounds of it. We've all made them I suspect. Did you say you were trying to get rid of mould? I completely understand that- any kind of house calamity panics me into doing rash things. It's just awful that some mistakes lead to long term consequences.

As to hurting people, I'm sure people don't think that was your intention (if indeed you have hurt anyone). It's a tricky site in a way because we are touching on some extremely sensitive subjects but still trying to express our own honest 'take' on the world. There's bound to be some rigorous discussion now and then. I also get the feeling you want to reach out to people and feel things very deeply. Which is beautiful but comes with risks. Here especially as we are all on the very edge and preparing to jump off.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,513
It sounds so horrible what you have to endure. Living really can be so painful and there does seem to be no real relief from suffering as long as we exist. It's just so awful how in life things can easily go wrong and get so much worse.
I wish you freedom.
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

The only place that allows negative feelings.
Aug 7, 2022
1,515
You can report hate mail to a mod. I'm sorry someone does that.
Aww thank you my friend... I did... I wanted to make peace and clear the missunderstanding, but they should have verified before trying to butcher me in my private place... And of of her reasons was hating me for who I love... That's just wrong.
Some of us shouldn't be bullied, because after we brush our teeth, we sharpen our tongues. Just for such people.
I have trust & anger issues too... I'm often tempted to show people what I really look like when I'm mean. I did reveal darkness but not at them.
Not stupid- just a horrible mistake by the sounds of it. We've all made them I suspect. Did you say you were trying to get rid of mould? I completely understand that- any kind of house calamity panics me into doing rash things. It's just awful that some mistakes lead to long term consequences.

As to hurting people, I'm sure people don't think that was your intention (if indeed you have hurt anyone). It's a tricky site in a way because we are touching on some extremely sensitive subjects but still trying to express our own honest 'take' on the world. There's bound to be some rigorous discussion now and then. I also get the feeling you want to reach out to people and feel things very deeply. Which is beautiful but comes with risks. Here especially as we are all on the very edge and preparing to jump off.
Yes, everything Inowned smelled of mold, cigarette & sewer... I used way too much vinegar & mixed it with stuff... I burn all over since 6 months!? Why, how!? The worse are being told I'm a liar, stupid, insane, and get threats if I beg for help... I'm tempted to try to neutralize vinegar with bleach & create the gas that killed the jews...
It sounds so horrible what you have to endure. Living really can be so painful and there does seem to be no real relief from suffering as long as we exist. It's just so awful how in life things can easily go wrong and get so much worse.
I wish you freedom.
Thank you... I keep thinking homeless have it worse but some were happier & healthier than me... Free...
 
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actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
Is there anyway to get Sn? You are not alone in being alone and scared.
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

The only place that allows negative feelings.
Aug 7, 2022
1,515
Is there anyway to get Sn? You are not alone in being alone and scared.
Yes I have the IC link.

*Snuggles your fluff* I hope you feel less alone too. Thank you
 
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Reactions: actual_fox

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