Venting Im hating inpatient so far

[L.D.50]

my pyschiatrist put me into in-patient last week and it feels like a humiliation ritual. the therapist seems apathetic, she often has to rephrase things or say "do you understand what im asking?" which i know I shouldn't be taking personally but it makes me feel unbelievably stupid. I already have enough trouble trouble opening up due to feelings of embarrassment, shame, etc and this doesn't help. the group im put into is fine, they're nice people and im getting along with them but I feel useless in group therapy. i rarely contribute to conversation and I wish it was easier for me to just say what I want to say when I want to say it. all of this feels redundant and im still thinking of suicide anyway. im mostly adding this here just to vent but how am I supposed to enjoy this? it feels harder and harder to get through each day and I feel like im not getting anything useful out of it.

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

I'm imagining my Labor Day dinner with family, but way, way worse.

When I was in group therapy, I never really learned how to 'claim my time.' But like in this forum, I just force myself to say stuff. Maybe you could talk to the person leading the group therapy with your concerns and hopefully they could make sure you have the time to express your thoughts.