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SadCryingBunny

SadCryingBunny

Experienced
Apr 10, 2025
283
I just realised I'm really going to die. I can't continue this existence any longer. I've got my nitrogen cylinder, exit bag and sleeping pills. I'm shaking cold. I can't control myself. Can you recommend for me something to help relax or anxiety medication. I will be travelling to my ctb location soon to die. I don't know how I will be able to drive if I'm freaking out like this.
 
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Kayla

Kayla

quetiapine <3
Dec 23, 2024
332
Maybe leave it for another day when you feel calmer
 
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NormallyNeurotic

NormallyNeurotic

Everything is going to be okay ⋅ he/him
Nov 21, 2024
930
If you're in a state like this, maybe you should put it off. Better to live a bit longer then to permanently disable yourself in a way that will make your suffering worse. Why's the deadline so strict, if I may ask?
 
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SadCryingBunny

SadCryingBunny

Experienced
Apr 10, 2025
283
If you're in a state like this, maybe you should put it off. Better to live a bit longer then to permanently disable yourself in a way that will make your suffering worse. Why's the deadline so strict, if I may ask?
I just want to go to sleep and end it. I'm ready to accept an autopsy and just die in my room. I'm in the process of getting the equipment to die in my sleep but I had a mental panic attack today and just wanted to die. Anything you can recommend to ease anxiety before ctb
 
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aufrechtm7

aufrechtm7

♡ strxwberrymilk
Feb 14, 2026
351
I just want to go to sleep and end it. I'm ready to accept an autopsy and just die in my room. I'm in the process of getting the equipment to die in my sleep but I had a mental panic attack today and just wanted to die. Anything you can recommend to ease anxiety before ctb
Comfort foods, music, or thc/cbd off the top of my head but I also agree with the others. I hope you can feel better soon to follow through with your decision either way.
 
SadCryingBunny

SadCryingBunny

Experienced
Apr 10, 2025
283
Comfort foods, music, or thc/cbd off the top of my head but I also agree with the others. I hope you can feel better soon to follow through with your decision either way.
Thank you but I don't think that will be sufficient to help when driving. If I just do it in my room, I would be a lot more relaxed but I'm trying to pass far away to not be found for a while. I've calmed down now from my anxiety attack. It's most triggered from the pain of my self harm cut.
 
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fishperson

fishperson

If only luck was by my side
Jan 22, 2026
417
how about instead of driving, u take some public tramsport.
Also u can always wait a bit longer
 
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akafuka1999

Member
Feb 13, 2023
84
I am sorry to hear this. You deserved better like everybody here. Do you not have benzodiazepines?
 
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K

Kaltherz

Member
Feb 23, 2026
7
I'm sorry for all the pain you're going through. Life is full of anxiety and fear.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,326
I'm sorry you have to go through this. I hope you find peace.

There's no shame in backing out. Whatever you decide to do I wish you all the best.
 
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SadCryingBunny

SadCryingBunny

Experienced
Apr 10, 2025
283
Comfort foods, music, or thc/cbd off the top of my head but I also agree with the others. I hope you can feel better soon to follow through with your decision either way.

how about instead of driving, u take some public tramsport.
Also u can always wait a bit longer
I can't take public transport when carrying a large nitrogen tank. Also my ctb location is remote, no public transport there.
I'm sorry for all the pain you're going through. Life is full of anxiety and fear.
I live in constant anxiety and fear 24/7. Worrying about my self harm injuries, money etc.
I am sorry to hear this. You deserved better like everybody here. Do you not have benzodiazepines?
No, I'm going try get some or something similar from my GP. I'll be visiting my hospital doctor soon, so I'll try and request an anxiety medication and state I get severe cold panic attacks when I have mental health breakdown due to my self harm. I'm in the process of setting up my sleep nitrogen ctb method where I can go to sleep in an exit bag breathing air from one tank followed by the nitrogen tank opening via a rope connected to weights on a timer pad lock after a certain time period when the air runs out. When I got the sensation that I was going to die today, I got a panic attack and made this post. Dying isn't easy and it's why I don't want to continue breathing nitrogen while conscious until I pass out as it's already difficult.
 
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