@アホペンギン thank you! i updated my post at the same time you commented. i changed my plans. i think consuming amanita muscaria in the forest is a much better plan. i'll still be drinking alcohol and trying to combine it with other hallucinogenic mushrooms if, by the graces of god, i can find some. i have experience, but we'll see what god provides. this plan is better because it gives me more time. i'm not exactly sure when my roommate will be home tonight. probably not until hours later, but it's better to be safe than sorry. i would hate for them to show up before i'm dead with the other plan. i'd rather die in the forest than my apartment as well. i guess i could have tried hanging myself from a tree, but the trees here are terrible for the sort of thing and i would hate to somehow be discovered before i'm dead. as for the amanita muscaria... i'm not sure how long it will take to kill me, but i'll try to go as deep into the forest as possible. i wish i wasn't such a coward to combine it with drowning...