rosenwasser
per ardua ad astra
- Sep 9, 2023
- 126
I'm still not really sure if I want to ctb this year or keep trying somehow - I plan on ordering SN but the customs where I live are ridiculously strict, they even seized a fake designer jewelry I ordered from China once and with the news reposts in the last weeks, I'm sort of afraid they could seize it and send the police to get me.
So I'm going for some quality of life improvements. Keeping my household clean and taking care of my food have always been the two biggest everyday issues for me. For those who don't know: I'm autistic and have extreme executive dysfunction, especially when it comes to anything concerning water. I want to cry after washing two dishes. Anyway, the place I live is a mess, I only eat take-out and am ashamed when anyone should come around. So when thinking about that qol improvement I should strive for, I thought about this. I won't lie to myself anymore and tell myself that I can do it if I only had discipline. It just makes me hate myself when it fails. A person on Instagram recommended to get something called "personal/everyday assistance" where you basically get a person that does stuff for you that you cannot.
I would basically partially pay (hopefully I get at least a tiny bit of financial support) a person that comes two times every week, helps my clean my flat and does meal prep. Maybe I could be free of this burden for the first time in my life.
But there are around thousand forms to get through and of course there aren't enough people who want to clean flats of autistic ppl so there is a waiting list.
I'll be spending the next few months abroad because of a research project and will try to get my application sorted out until then.
Maybe it will help, maybe it won't. Who knows.
Wish me luck.
PS: I think my brain is kinda funny by now. Option a) get someone to clean your filthy flat Option b) ctb
But it sort of is the dilemma I have - I just don't want to live like this and since I can't find any peaceful suicide option, I will just try quirky alleviate suffering solutions.
So I'm going for some quality of life improvements. Keeping my household clean and taking care of my food have always been the two biggest everyday issues for me. For those who don't know: I'm autistic and have extreme executive dysfunction, especially when it comes to anything concerning water. I want to cry after washing two dishes. Anyway, the place I live is a mess, I only eat take-out and am ashamed when anyone should come around. So when thinking about that qol improvement I should strive for, I thought about this. I won't lie to myself anymore and tell myself that I can do it if I only had discipline. It just makes me hate myself when it fails. A person on Instagram recommended to get something called "personal/everyday assistance" where you basically get a person that does stuff for you that you cannot.
I would basically partially pay (hopefully I get at least a tiny bit of financial support) a person that comes two times every week, helps my clean my flat and does meal prep. Maybe I could be free of this burden for the first time in my life.
But there are around thousand forms to get through and of course there aren't enough people who want to clean flats of autistic ppl so there is a waiting list.
I'll be spending the next few months abroad because of a research project and will try to get my application sorted out until then.
Maybe it will help, maybe it won't. Who knows.
Wish me luck.
PS: I think my brain is kinda funny by now. Option a) get someone to clean your filthy flat Option b) ctb
But it sort of is the dilemma I have - I just don't want to live like this and since I can't find any peaceful suicide option, I will just try quirky alleviate suffering solutions.
I hope your application is accepted soon!
