Venting im done im done im done im done

[wylcel]

i think im going to start preparations to ctb soon, i already have a method in mind (improved ampitryline cocktail)
tomorrow is my birthday, i was going to celebrate it today with the people i hold dearest, my found family including my girlfriend, who tells me i'm the most important person in her life (i've already been on my worst downwards spiral and depressive episode because of things she's done that i've extensively written about here (tldr my girlfriend loves my found sister more than she loves me and has broken a million promises that were foundational to our relationship))
it was going to be at 6pm, and then at 6pm my girlfriend (who values birthdays tremendously and would've killed me had i not gone to hers) told me that she can't come and doesn't tell me why.
then i call my sister and she forgot it was my birthday and didn't read the messages i sent her inviting her, she also tells me she had a personal emergency and that my girlfriend was just texting her offering to go see her, and that she (my sister) could come over if i wanted her to.
i feel so fucking sick, i hate her i hate her i hate her so much
i blocked her now, it's over
i plan on going to buy everything i need as soon as i get enough money

 

[kurikaesu]

thats heartbreaking, i cant imagine how that must feel for you. i hope tomorrow your mind will be a little clearer to make a more level-headed decision, and if you decide to leave, i hope the afterlife treats you well. happy early birthday <3

 

[wylcel]

thats heartbreaking, i cant imagine how that must feel for you. i hope tomorrow your mind will be a little clearer to make a more level-headed decision, and if you decide to leave, i hope the afterlife treats you well. happy early birthday <3

thank you so much, i cant put into words how much i appreciate it

 

[pattyr26]

im sorry, thats awful. i encourage you to stay, at least until tomorrow when you have a calmer head. ur ex and ur sister dont appreciate you, and that isn't your fault. real friends and real family would stay by your side, and if they had issues with you they would tell you instead of going behind your back on your birthday. im sure someday youll find a partner who truly loves and respects you, but i understand that feels far away. at the very least, i want you to love and respect you. i hope your birthday tomorrow is good, despite your circumstances. sending love <3

 

[KarmaKat]

Happy early birthday, you deserve so much more than them, it takes nothing to be at least humanely considerate.

Don't make any decisions, at least for now, let it simmer for a bit, I wish you the best, whatever comes next. <3

 

[wylcel]

im sorry, thats awful. i encourage you to stay, at least until tomorrow when you have a calmer head. ur ex and ur sister dont appreciate you, and that isn't your fault. real friends and real family would stay by your side, and if they had issues with you they would tell you instead of going behind your back on your birthday. im sure someday youll find a partner who truly loves and respects you, but i understand that feels far away. at the very least, i want you to love and respect you. i hope your birthday tomorrow is good, despite your circumstances. sending love <3

Happy early birthday, you deserve so much more than them, it takes nothing to be at least humanely considerate.

Don't make any decisions, at least for now, let it simmer for a bit, I wish you the best, whatever comes next. <3

thank you very much to both of you, my sister came over in the end and she really cheered me up, she's going through a really tough time right now so I don't blame her for messing up the dates
my ex gf though, I said to myself a while ago that today was her last chance to redeem herself and she didn't even show up, I'm really glad that it's over.
I'm a little bit more hopeful now, but still really scared of having to live with myself after my sister has to go back home, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.
hugs to all