im deciding to become incel fully,not the hateful kind though. is it good idea?any other incels here?

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

I am embracing inceldom fully, not the hateful kind or say mean stuff or be sexist but im going to just forget about women or relationships.

im just tired of worrying if im good enough, tired of being a dancing clown just to get acknowledged by women , tired of trying to live up to an ideal.

women also have privledeges in society and the courts.

there are things that favor women and women can do that men cant such as

• domestic violence (resources are only available for abused women)
• sexual assault/rape (existing definitions do not apply to men and again resources are only available for female victims)
• parental leave (women are eligible for longer periods?)
• prison sentences
• Non-payment of child support
• men are three times the victim of suicide.

Women are instantly favored and always seen as innocent and the victim ( Amber Heard Johnny Depp case went a long way to bring this to attention)

Women are always given compliments and gassed up, men barely ever.A man remembers a compliment from years ago thats how rare it is. Leading to women having more confidence.

Women are treated specially " oh shes a woman dont say that to her" "oh shes a woman dont fight back"

Also if i by some miracle I get a relationship and we fight id end up the bad one always , id have to pay support or funding even if we were just living together without marriage she can claim she was dependent on me.

Many women have ruined the lives of men just by false accusations and their word.

Like i said i wont wish an ill will towards women or anything like that.

im going to simply be a bachelor , ignore women, focus on hobbies , friends, work and learning and enjoy life until i die.

for me after thinking about things , its a zero sum game as a man to get involved with a woman these days.

 

[whatevs]

I don't think it is a zero sum game but it's good to be aware of what you can get and what you can't. And sometimes is a good move to stop trying and give up when the chances are too slim.

Since for someone like you is definitely very hard to find a companion the stoic mindset works well, I'm just saying that it has more to do with you than how society works nowadays. Women have some advantages but your solitude is not due to that IMO.

I'm an incel too but I'm aware that is because I'm chronically ill, insecure, fearful and very weird, it's not because women have preferential treatment in some areas.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

I am embracing inceldom fully, not the hateful kind or say mean stuff or be sexist but im going to just forget about women or relationships.

im just tired of worrying if im good enough, tired of being a dancing clown just to get acknowledged by women , tired of trying to live up to an ideal.

women also have privledeges in society and the courts.

there are things that favor women and women can do that men cant such as

• domestic violence (resources are only available for abused women)
• sexual assault/rape (existing definitions do not apply to men and again resources are only available for female victims)
• parental leave (women are eligible for longer periods?)
• prison sentences
• Non-payment of child support
• men are three times the victim of suicide.

Women are instantly favored and always seen as innocent and the victim ( Amber Heard Johnny Depp case went a long way to bring this to attention)

Women are always given compliments and gassed up, men barely ever.A man remembers a compliment from years ago thats how rare it is. Leading to women having more confidence.

Women are treated specially " oh shes a woman dont say that to her" "oh shes a woman dont fight back"

Also if i by some miracle I get a relationship and we fight id end up the bad one always , id have to pay support or funding even if we were just living together without marriage she can claim she was dependent on me.

Many women have ruined the lives of men just by false accusations and their word.

Like i said i wont wish an ill will towards women or anything like that.

im going to simply be a bachelor , ignore women, focus on hobbies , friends, work and learning and enjoy life until i die.

for me after thinking about things , its a zero sum game as a man to get involved with a woman these days.

Would you pay for sex? It's not optimal but it would help the sexual urges. Relationships are built on what you can do for me anyway($).

 

[Lebensunwertes]

Easier said than done. Humans are by nature social creatures and require companionship. The issue with foregoing of relationships is that at every step the fact that you have never been intimate with anybody will be shoved in your face. Whether it's casual conversation, media, advertising. Sex and relationships are one of fundamental parts of being human. I tried accepting my inceldom, but it only makes me more bitter when I realize how much time and opportunities I wasted over the year.

 

[seaweaves]

Just a suggestion on language

If you're not intending to adopt the more hateful views associated with incels, and if you're choosing for yourself all things considered to choose not to pursue things, "incel" is probably grammatically and socially not the right word, since it is shorthand for "involuntarily" celibate (so "deciding to become an incel" is basically a contradiction), and connotes a specific set of people and beliefs and would be hard to separate the word from those people.

Sounds to me you're just plain celibate. The reasons are related in part to the lack of support for men, and are thus at least partially political or partially involuntary, but this sounds different from incel culture. (though admittedly a lot of your language around privilege etc sounds close to women blaming incel language at times, I am trusting your explicit claims that this is not your intent, and thus don't think incel is the best word).

 

[Chinaski]

women also have privledeges in society and the courts.

there are things that favor women and women can do that men cant such as

• domestic violence (resources are only available for abused women)
• sexual assault/rape (existing definitions do not apply to men and again resources are only available for female victims)
• parental leave (women are eligible for longer periods?)
• prison sentences
• Non-payment of child support
• men are three times the victim of suicide.

Women are instantly favored and always seen as innocent and the victim ( Amber Heard Johnny Depp case went a long way to bring this to attention)

Women are always given compliments and gassed up, men barely ever.A man remembers a compliment from years ago thats how rare it is. Leading to women having more confidence.

Women are treated specially " oh shes a woman dont say that to her" "oh shes a woman dont fight back"

Also if i by some miracle I get a relationship and we fight id end up the bad one always , id have to pay support or funding even if we were just living together without marriage she can claim she was dependent on me.

Many women have ruined the lives of men just by false accusations and their word.

Like i said i wont wish an ill will towards women or anything like that.

im going to simply be a bachelor , ignore women, focus on hobbies , friends, work and learning and enjoy life until i die.

for me after thinking about things , its a zero sum game as a man to get involved with a woman these days.

Not sure how this equates to "not the hateful kind", a week ago you were actually wanting to *be* a woman ffs, itself a bit peculiar considering how much you obviously totally despise them.

 

[Meliæ]

I think this is completely useless unless your goal is sounding extremely stupid.


Believe me it's better trying to be smart, capable of discernment

and becoming simply misanthropic

 

[whatevs]

Easier said than done. Humans are by nature social creatures and require companionship. The issue with foregoing of relationships is that at every step the fact that you have never been intimate with anybody will be shoved in your face. Whether it's casual conversation, media, advertising. Sex and relationships are one of fundamental parts of being human. I tried accepting my inceldom, but it only makes me more bitter when I realize how much time and opportunities I wasted over the year.

This is some real talk. What you're foregoing in the end is a large chunk of being a person, of your humanity. If you can stomach that, good, many priests and mystics have. But it's good to be aware of what you are up against with this unnatural lifestyle. It certainly is a "coping challenge" of enormous proportions, especially if you have no spiritual inclinations of any kind.

 

[DerTod]

Not sure how this equates to "not the hateful kind", a week ago you were actually wanting to *be* a woman ffs, itself a bit peculiar considering how much you obviously totally despise them.

Not surprised at all. A lot of incels are transitioning.It's called "transmaxxing" on Reddit. Then they start to harass lesbians into giving them sex and call them bigots if they refuse. And that's how this group is ruining it for the genuine trans women and make them look like incel predators. Vile!

 

[Meliæ]

You should put yourself first and ask yourself what makes you feel better, not worse

 

[callme]

You should put yourself first and ask yourself what makes you feel better, not worse

And if he can't or even won't get what makes him better, what use is it? Being even more miserable?

 

[DerTod]

And if he can't or even won't get what makes him better, what use is it? Being even more miserable?

He could have said:" hey i'm going to be volcel" without starting to throw shade on all women because of his unfortunate experiences with some of them. Another solution would be to find asexual women but that requires a nice personality not the incel mindset.

 

[Lebensunwertes]

He could have said:" hey i'm going to be volcel" without starting to throw shade on all women because of his unfortunate experiences with some of them. Another solution would be to find asexual women but that requires a nice personality not the incel mindset.

He meant accepting inceldom. There's nothing volcel about accepting the condition that was involuntarily thrown at you. The term "incel mindset" is vague and I'm almost certain you use incel and misogynist interchangeably which in my view is an error.

 

[DerTod]

He meant accepting inceldom. There's nothing volcel about accepting the condition that was involuntarily thrown at you. The term "incel mindset" is vague and I'm almost certain you use incel and misogynist interchangeably which in my view is an error.

Are there incels who don't blame women for their misfortunes in misogynistic ways?

 

[settheory]

1. Certain problems are tackled more for women because women suffer more from them generally.
2. Many of men's problems are mostly caused by other men.
3. The fact that men kill themselves more does not mean that they suffer more. One of the reasons is that women are far more likely to be single parents. Several times i've seen people cherrypicking statistics like that to try to justify something, especially with the suicide rate, but it's like touching an elephant's tail in a dark room and telling that it's a rope.

 

[Tortured Existence]

Are there incels who don't blame women for their misfortunes in misogynistic ways?

As a group, no.

"An incel (/ˈɪnsɛl/ IN-sel, an abbreviation of "involuntary celibate"[1]) is a member of an online subculture of people who define themselves as unable to get a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one.[2][3][4] Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentment and hatred, misogyny, misanthropy, self-pity and self-loathing, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against women and sexually active people.[16] The American Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) described the subculture as "part of the online male supremacist ecosystem" that is included in their list of hate groups.[17][18] Incels are mostly male and heterosexual,[12][14][19] and are often white.[20][21][22][23][24] Estimates of the overall size of the subculture vary greatly, ranging from thousands to hundreds of thousands of individuals.[25][26]

At least eight mass murders, resulting in a total of 61 deaths, have been committed since 2014 by men who have either self-identified as incels or who had mentioned incel-related names and writings in their private writings or Internet postings. Incel communities have been criticized by researchers and the media for being misogynistic, encouraging violence, spreading extremist views, and radicalizing their members.[3][27][28][22] Beginning in 2018, the incel ideology has increasingly been described as a terrorism threat, and a February 2020 attack in Toronto, Canada became the first instance of allegedly incel-related violence to be prosecuted as an act of terrorism.[22][29][30][31]"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incel

 

[Chinaski]

He meant accepting inceldom. There's nothing volcel about accepting the condition that was involuntarily thrown at you. The term "incel mindset" is vague and I'm almost certain you use incel and misogynist interchangeably which in my view is an error.

"incel" is not a condition in itself, it involves signing up to the misogo bullshit that goes along with it which, judging from his post, he's clearly bought into quite heavily. He chooses to think those things about women, it isn't a condition which has been thrust upon him, the victimhood narrative of the creepy misogynistic shitheels around this place seriously needs canning, it's fucking poisonous.

 

[asscar.racing]

I am embracing inceldom fully, not the hateful kind or say mean stuff or be sexist but im going to just forget about women or relationships.

im just tired of worrying if im good enough, tired of being a dancing clown just to get acknowledged by women , tired of trying to live up to an ideal.

women also have privledeges in society and the courts.

there are things that favor women and women can do that men cant such as

• domestic violence (resources are only available for abused women)
• sexual assault/rape (existing definitions do not apply to men and again resources are only available for female victims)
• parental leave (women are eligible for longer periods?)
• prison sentences
• Non-payment of child support
• men are three times the victim of suicide.

Women are instantly favored and always seen as innocent and the victim ( Amber Heard Johnny Depp case went a long way to bring this to attention)

Women are always given compliments and gassed up, men barely ever.A man remembers a compliment from years ago thats how rare it is. Leading to women having more confidence.

Women are treated specially " oh shes a woman dont say that to her" "oh shes a woman dont fight back"

Also if i by some miracle I get a relationship and we fight id end up the bad one always , id have to pay support or funding even if we were just living together without marriage she can claim she was dependent on me.

Many women have ruined the lives of men just by false accusations and their word.

Like i said i wont wish an ill will towards women or anything like that.

im going to simply be a bachelor , ignore women, focus on hobbies , friends, work and learning and enjoy life until i die.

for me after thinking about things , its a zero sum game as a man to get involved with a woman these days.

sigma grind

 

[amygdala]

I wouldn't recommend it. I tried to live that way ("I don't need a relationship") in my early-mid 20s but I think it caused me more pain in the end.

How old are you micropbaldcurrycel?
If you're on the young side, especially, I suggest you be very careful in choosing that path. One day you might realize it won't work for you and regret losing so much time.

 

[odradek]

I am embracing inceldom fully, not the hateful kind or say mean stuff or be sexist but im going to just forget about women or relationships.

im just tired of worrying if im good enough, tired of being a dancing clown just to get acknowledged by women , tired of trying to live up to an ideal.

women also have privledeges in society and the courts.

there are things that favor women and women can do that men cant such as

• domestic violence (resources are only available for abused women)
• sexual assault/rape (existing definitions do not apply to men and again resources are only available for female victims)
• parental leave (women are eligible for longer periods?)
• prison sentences
• Non-payment of child support
• men are three times the victim of suicide.

Women are instantly favored and always seen as innocent and the victim ( Amber Heard Johnny Depp case went a long way to bring this to attention)

Women are always given compliments and gassed up, men barely ever.A man remembers a compliment from years ago thats how rare it is. Leading to women having more confidence.

Women are treated specially " oh shes a woman dont say that to her" "oh shes a woman dont fight back"

Also if i by some miracle I get a relationship and we fight id end up the bad one always , id have to pay support or funding even if we were just living together without marriage she can claim she was dependent on me.

Many women have ruined the lives of men just by false accusations and their word.

Like i said i wont wish an ill will towards women or anything like that.

im going to simply be a bachelor , ignore women, focus on hobbies , friends, work and learning and enjoy life until i die.

for me after thinking about things , its a zero sum game as a man to get involved with a woman these days.

You are embracing the hateful kind of inceldom. So much of what you've said here is blatantly misogynistic.

Why do you put women on some bizarre pedestal just to throw rocks at them? I can tell you why can't find a relationship. You played yourself.

 

[Weebster]

Lol trying to reframe it as a choice. It's like embracing cancer.

 

[callme]

He could have said:" hey i'm going to be volcel" without starting to throw shade on all women because of his unfortunate experiences with some of them. Another solution would be to find asexual women but that requires a nice personality not the incel mindset.

MOST women, not some, he isn't wrong.

Are you sure a woman of high value would even look at him if he said "volcel"? If he was a single black woman with 4 children would you eaually suggest "it's your choice, pull ye head in"? With al due respect, you underestimate the problem.

At least because his unfortunate experiences are much more than unfortunate, but either make or break a man and a living human.

Find asexual women? You mean the kind that won't be attracted to him, because they by default aren't attracted ro anybody? And when that fails fast and hard?

 

[Dead Ghost]

I am reading the term incel for the first time and despite having searched the net for the definition it has seemed to me that along this thread the same term is used in quite different definitions and in contradictory contexts .. for different users this if .

Couldn't you agree on a valid definition of the term for everyone? at least that way I would be clearer about the position of each.

//

Estic llegint per primera vegada el terme incel i tot i haver cercat per la xarxa la definició m'ha semblat que al llarg d'aquest fil s'utilitza el mateix terme en definicions força diferents i en contextes contradictoris.. per diferents usuaris això si.

No podrieu consensuar una definició vàlida del terme per tothom? almenys així em quedaría més clara la posició de cadascú.

 

[callme]

"incel" is not a condition in itself, it involves signing up to the misogo bullshit that goes along with it which, judging from his post, he's clearly bought into quite heavily. He chooses to think those things about women, it isn't a condition which has been thrust upon him, the victimhood narrative of the creepy misogynistic shitheels around this place seriously needs canning, it's fucking poisonous.

We don't think of ourselfves as victims. In fact, women are more victims of the new times that give them far more choice in finding partners.

Why is it necessary to be misled by misogynists? It ca hold true long before we learn what it means, in childhood. Why group us together immediately, somwe are the enemies of humanity or something?

It's indeed not a condition but a circumstance, a permanent one. I never saw any solution to it however,, other than get rid of them as you propose. But I thought everybody's opinion let alone life must be respected? Alas.

1. Certain problems are tackled more for women because women suffer more from them generally.
2. Many of men's problems are mostly caused by other men.
3. The fact that men kill themselves more does not mean that they suffer more. One of the reasons is that women are far more likely to be single parents. Several times i've seen people cherrypicking statistics like that to try to justify something, especially with the suicide rate, but it's like touching an elephant's tail in a dark room and telling that it's a rope.

More? They are allowed to say so much more and don't you think that helps substantially? When and where are men allowed ro do that? Therapists are equally playing us as our last refuge. Can you say the same to a gropul of male friends as you would to female friends? "Giys I just think I'll never get pregnant" and "Guys I can't lift it up".

Yes because we have competition women rely upon to choose the better ones. Women set the bar high once they were allowed everything.

Yes it does. Howeevr personal, hating yourself so much you take a 12 gauge and shoot your face off is a definitive act more than swallowing poison - "but nothing fancy, maybe some paracetamol". Men or women, it entails stronger courage.

Women are much more likely to be single parents but fhey can always get a man to pay for them, however miseeable and poor he is. I live in a 3rd world country and it's perfectly true as anywhere. Truck drivers in particular, because their girlfriends get the thousands of euros while not having to put up with stinky cabin dwellers.

 

[DerTod]

MOST women, not some, he isn't wrong.

Are you sure a woman of high value would even look at him if he said "volcel"? If he was a single black woman with 4 children would you eaually suggest "it's your choice, pull ye head in"? With al due respect, you underestimate the problem.

At least because his unfortunate experiences are much more than unfortunate, but either make or break a man and a living human.

Find asexual women? You mean the kind that won't be attracted to him, because they by default aren't attracted ro anybody? And when that fails fast and hard?

I had bad experiences with men and know plenty of women who say that all men care about this days is to bang them. The solution is to hate eachother now?
What constitutes a "high value woman" for you? Really curious.
As for asexual women,they are attracted to men/women they just don't wanna bang them.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Yeah, some think the definition has now somehow changed to involving misogyny. I propose using "PWWARBDHO" (catchy) to avoid that completely unnecessary distraction. From my thread where we come up with strategies for dealing with this condition (always looking for more contributions): https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/dealing-with-being-a-pwwarbdho.92950/#post-1639145

What you're doing now is the "sour grapes" cope in combination with some other defenses. That is a valid strategy; but since we're applying it to people, it's extra useful to keep it in our heads (people might feel bad otherwise, and there could be debates and stuff). There are also some less controversial strategies mentioned in the thread (and other places online, I suppose).

Try to ignore the people that don't seem to understand how devastating this is, if at all possible. Last thing we need is to get provoked further.

 

[Chinaski]

Lol trying to reframe it as a choice. It's like embracing cancer.

Idgi, are you suggesting op didn't choose to believe the shite he posted? And that celibacy is equivalent to cancer in some way? Or are you saying something else?

Yeah, some think the definition has now somehow changed to involving misogyny. I propose using "PWWARBDHO" (catchy) to avoid that completely unnecessary distraction. From my thread where we come up with strategies for dealing with this condition (always looking for more contributions): https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/dealing-with-being-a-pwwarbdho.92950/#post-1639145

What you're doing now is the "sour grapes" cope in combination with some other defenses. That is a valid strategy; but since we're applying it to people, it's extra useful to keep it in our heads (people might feel bad otherwise, and there could be debates and stuff). There are also some less controversial strategies mentioned in the thread (and other places online, I suppose).

Try to ignore the people that don't seem to understand how devastating this is, if at all possible. Last thing we need is to get provoked further.

Yeah I'm not sure a corporate style rebranding is the thing most called for here, the op is totally poisonous drivel no matter what label folk may want to apply for PR purposes

 

[callme]

I had bad experiences with men and know plenty of women who say that all men care about this days is to bang them. The solution is to hate eachother now?
What constitutes a "high value woman" for you? Really curious.
As for asexual women,they are attracted to men/women they just don't wanna bang them.

True as well. Absolutely, that is why I say we aren't necessarily women haters, of course it's bad men aren't toning down their bravado becsuse it's just not natural to not be the least taken in by a woman's feelings, they are wonderful and unknownable. And def don't deserve being thrown away. In fact, thrown away even when those doing it are the exact high value men they are attracted to. Too badl but you know, I feel the whole situation on both fronts is irreversible and impossible to fix.

One that wouldn't pity him? See how many people pity others? The worst feeling. No woman would ever take us. We are the bad apples.

Then an asexual couple fosters not love. They both may end up empty and alone side by side. Not that I wouldn't myself consider so. But then the incentive for money is even bigger. And it's not just love without marriage, but mutual livelihood without love becauee it's without sex. Maybe without possibility for it too.

 

[Interloper]

Picking a username like that and with the contents of your post, I feel like you already embraced it long ago.

 

[Lebensunwertes]

Are there incels who don't blame women for their misfortunes in misogynistic ways?

Do all men who have no romantic experiences are ubiquitously misogynistic? I doubt so.

"incel" is not a condition in itself, it involves signing up to the misogo bullshit that goes along with it which, judging from his post, he's clearly bought into quite heavily. He chooses to think those things about women, it isn't a condition which has been thrust upon him, the victimhood narrative of the creepy misogynistic shitheels around this place seriously needs canning, it's fucking poisonous.

Personally I don't like the term incel, because celibacy is by definition a voluntary practice of abstaining from sex. He chooses to uphold some views about women, but I doubt it's a result of his pure malicious intent, but the fruit of negative experiences in his life.

The lack of intimacy will not kill you, but playing it down is the equivalent of playing down other traumatic experiences that did not result in physical damage.

Btw. grouping incels as a whole is pretty stupid. You'd be surprised how much polarization and infighting is in the "incel community" itself, lol.