D

deep_end

How've you been?
Sep 9, 2023
32
A few months ago, I thought I got out. I planned to take my sn, and I almost was successful. Unfortunately, my boyfriend stopped me. He forcefully took the SN out of my hands. I cried for hours after that. He knew I was really really broken. We got me on antidepressants and therapy, and for a while I was doing alright. I didn't think of dying for months. For a bit, I even thought I was reformed. But unfortunately, I started spiraling down again. I keep wondering if this depressed -self is the real me, and I'm just coping whenever I'm happy, or if I am naturally a happy person and just occasionally I get really extremely depressed for long periods of time.
 
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Reactions: boddibo, Gonnerr and StaringIntoAnAbyss
StaringIntoAnAbyss

StaringIntoAnAbyss

Is it all just a quantum dream ?
Aug 23, 2023
80
Sounds very tough,
Are you happy that he intervened ?
 
StaringIntoAnAbyss

StaringIntoAnAbyss

Is it all just a quantum dream ?
Aug 23, 2023
80
I don't know honestly. I thought I was happy but now I just wish I didn't have to go through these past few months
Mhm ye it's really shit when the feeling gets back again.
If you want to talk or something you can message me ❤️
 
D

deep_end

How've you been?
Sep 9, 2023
32
Mhm ye it's really shit when the feeling gets back again.
If you want to talk or something you can message me ❤️
Thank you. Unfortunately, starting conversations isn't my strength, but if I need to ill try
 
J

joshua9119

Member
Nov 9, 2023
14
Thank you. Unfortunately, starting conversations isn't my strength, but if I need to ill try
I think people who endure all the suffering are brave and have great spirit. I think it is a very brave move on your part to take the antidepressants and counseling, and I think it is very awesome.

It is winter in the northern hemisphere now, so that may be a factor. Maybe the meds need a change sometimes, or maybe you need another stimulus in counseling. (I rejected 5 counselors to find one I was happy with...)


I think everyone alive today is brave and significant. I pray your suffering eases and you find new joy🥲
 
L

Lostindespair3

Member
Dec 13, 2023
47
I keep wondering if this depressed -self is the real me, and I'm just coping whenever I'm happy, or if I am naturally a happy person and just occasionally I get really extremely depressed for long periods of time.
This is an interesting point I've never thought of before, and now am also curious about. Every single time I get out of a depressive episode, I'm right back in the hole months later…but am I really a happy person that gets depressed for long periods of time, or a severely depressed person, who occasionally copes well enough to get by. Either way the cycling is exhausting and I want out.
 

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